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The Prologue to Bertrand Russell's Autobiography
What I Have Lived For
Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my
life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable
pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds,
have blown me hither and thither adv.到处, in a wayward course, over a great
ocean of anguish n.痛苦, reaching to the very verge n.边缘 of despair.
I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy n.入迷- ecstasy so
great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a
few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves
loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering adj.颤抖的
consciousness looks over the rim n.边缘of the world into the cold
unfathomable adj.无底的 lifeless abyss n.深渊. I have sought it finally,
because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the
prefiguring n.预示 vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined.
This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this
is what--at last--I have found.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to
understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars
shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean 毕达格拉斯的 power
by which number holds sway v.摇晃 above the flux n变迁. A little of this, but
not much, I have achieved.
Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward
the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of
cries of pain reverberate n.反响 in my heart. Children in famine, victims
tortured by oppressors n.压迫者, helpless old people a burden to their sons,
and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery n.嘲笑 of
what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I
too suffer.
This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live
it again if the chance were offered me.
我为何而生
——伯兰特·罗素自传前言
对爱情的渴望,对知识的追求,对人类苦难不可遏制的同情,在支配我一
生的单纯而强烈的三种感情。这些感情如阵阵巨风,吹拂在我动荡不定的生涯中,
有时甚至吹过深沉痛苦的海洋,直抵绝望的边缘。
我所以追求爱情,有三方面的原因。首先,爱情有时给我带来狂喜,这种
狂喜竟如此有力,以致使我常常会为了体验几小时爱的喜悦,而宁愿牺牲生命中其
他一切。其次,爱情可以摆脱孤寂——身历那种可怕孤寂的人的战栗意识,有时会
由世界的边缘,观察到冷酷无生命的无底深渊。最后,在爱的结合中,我看到了古
今圣贤以及诗人们所梦想的天堂的缩影,这正是我所追寻的人生境界。虽然它对一
般的人类生活也许太美好了,但这正是我透过爱情所得到场最终发现。
我曾以同样的感情追求知识,我渴望去了解人类的。也渴望知道星星为什
么会发光,同时我还想理解毕达哥拉斯的力量。
爱情与知识的可能领域,总是引领我到天堂的境界,可对人类苦难的同情
经常把我带回现实世界。那些痛苦的呼唤经常在我内心深处引起回响。饥饿中的孩
子,被压迫被折磨者,给子女造成重担的孤苦无依的老人,以及全球性的孤独、贫
穷和痛苦的存在,是对人类生活理想的无视和讽刺。我常常希望能尽自己的微薄之
力去减轻这不必要的痛苦,但我发现我完全失败了,因此我自己也感到很痛苦。
这就是我的一生,我发现人是值得活的。如果有谁再给我一次生活的机会
,我将欣然接受这难得的赐予。
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