Joke 版 (精华区)

发信人: ganrong (甘于寂寞 荣辱不惊), 信区: Joke
标  题: 西游笑记2
发信站: 哈工大紫丁香 (2001年11月27日16:42:17 星期二), 站内信件

  　　3月28日                                                           
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　越往西走人烟越稀少。已经好几天没化到象样的斋饭了。今天大师兄又只化
到半瓶酱油回来。       
                                                                        
                       
  　　师傅接过酱油，叹了口气，唠叨说："喝酱油，我倒不怕，我天生肤白貌美
，脸部皮肤堆积点色素也  
  无大碍。。。就怕悟净，脸已这样黑，再喝酱油怕是白天也看不见他了！?     
                      
                                                                        
                       
  　　妈的，这个老秃驴！又拿我开涮，吃大便去吧，他！都说吃了这逼的肉可以
长生不老，今天晚上我就 
  把他给煮了，给大家打牙暨！至少二师兄不会反对的。                      
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　5月5日                                                            
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　天，越来越热了。大家都还穿着长袍大褂，特别是大师兄，他一身的毛毛，
看了都叫人起痱痱！师傅 
  叫我把大家的衣服都改一改，改凉快一点。                                
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　于是，我把师傅的袈裟改成了沙滩装；把大师兄的虎皮裙改成了今夏流行韩
国露脐装；把二师兄的大 
  褂改成了吊带装。                                                      
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　于是，大家走在路上都沉默。。。。。。                              
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　5月8日                                                            
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　今天下雨，大家在亭子里躲雨。二师兄提议打牌，我们就斗起了地主。    
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　唉！斗地主大师兄最赖皮，他仗着自己火眼金睛，大家的牌，他全看见，不
一会就赢了我们二十两银 
  子。我们叫他请客买啤酒，。。等于白说！他最爱攒私房钱，说是一分两分攒到
结婚。他怎么不去死啊！ 
                                                                        
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　师傅最惨了，连内裤都输掉了！二师兄把他的一条借给了师傅，师傅穿上他
的内裤就象穿了一条灯笼 
  裤！。。。。。。                                                      
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　5月14日                                                           
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　我们走着走着，大师兄在前面忽然大叫一声："不好！有妖怪！大家快隐蔽
！?                    
                                                                        
                       
  　　只见师傅兴高采烈的伸着头就跑了上去，"哎！哎？哪有妖怪！哪有妖怪？
快让我看看！长的啥样？  
  快让我看看！?                                                         
                      
                                                                        
                       
  　　嘿！这个傻逼竟然对妖精这么感兴趣！                                
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　大师兄一马当先，扑进草丛，不一会就把妖怪捉了回来！师傅急不可耐地伸
长脖子问："妖怪在哪？  
  快让我看看！?                                                         
                      
                                                                        
                       
  　　大师兄伸出手，哦！原来是只蛐蛐精！蛐蛐精背上刻着四个字：永远不死。
但它确实是死悄悄了。   
                                                                        
                       
  　　师傅看着蛐蛐精，表情变的很奇异。呆了半天，唱道："小蛐蛐儿，会唱歌
，两条须须儿竖起        
  来！。。。?                                                           
                      
                                                                        
                       
  　　"我靠！师傅你没事吧？"大师兄问。                                  
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　"我没事，"师傅说："没想到这么一只点点大的蛐蛐儿也要吃我！？?      
                      
                                                                        
                       
  　　"他不想吃你，我问过他了，"大师兄说："他说他只想泡你！。拜托师傅你
以后不要动不动就唱歌，  
  行不？?                                                               
                      
                                                                        
                       
  　　"哎？这只蛐蛐精好象有点面熟！仿佛从前见过。"师傅说。              
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　二师兄忙说："对！他不就是"七龙珠"里的界王神嘛！?                  
                    
                                                                        
                       
  　　师傅说："你看，他那一对须须儿长得多有个性！哎？悟空，能不能把它们
揪下来安我脑门上！?    
                                                                        
                       
  　　"好啊！这可是你让我干的，别后悔呦？"大师兄说完就把蛐蛐精的两根须须
儿安到了师傅那秃脑门   
  上。                                                                  
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　师傅照着镜子，捋了捋须须，美得牙龇多大！                          
                       
                                                                        
                       
  　　傻逼一个！                                                        
                       

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雪花飘兮我心寒，衰哥愁苦兮无人管

※ 来源:·哈工大紫丁香 bbs.hit.edu.cn·[FROM: 天外飞仙]