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发信人: fzx (化石), 信区: English
标 题: Wuthering Heights 12
发信站: 紫 丁 香 (Thu May 20 14:11:59 1999), 转信
Chapter 12
While Miss Linton moped about the park and garden, always silent, and
almost always in tears; andher brother shut himself up among books that
he never opened--wearying, I guessed, with acontinual vague expectation
that Catherine, repenting her conduct, would come of her own accordto ask
pardon, and seek a reconciliation--and she fasted pertinaciously, under
the idea, probably,that at every meal, Edgar was ready to choke for her
absence, and pride alone held him fromrunning to cast himself at her feet:
I went about my household duties, convinced that the Grange hadbut one
sensible soul in its walls, and that lodged in my body. I wasted no
condolences on Miss,nor any expostulations on my mistress; nor did I pay
much attention to the sighs of my master, whoyearned to hear his lady's
name, since he might not hear her voice. I determined they should comeabout
as they pleased for me; and though it was a tiresomely slow process, I
began to rejoice atlength in a faint dawn of its progress: as I thought
at first.
Mrs Linton, on the third day, unbarred her door, and having finished the
water in her pitcher anddecanter, desired a renewed supply, and a basin
of gruel, for she believed she was dying. That I setdown as a speech meant
for Edgar's ears; I believed no such thing, so I kept it to myself
andbrought her some tea and dry toast. She ate and drank eagerly; and sank
back on her pillow againclenching her hands and groaning. `Oh, I will die,'
she exclaimed, `since no one cares anythingabout me. I wish I had not taken
that.' Then a good while after I heard her murmur, `No, I'll notdie--
he'd be glad--he does not love me at all--he would never miss me!'
`Did you want anything, ma'am?' I inquired, still preserving my external
composure, in spite of herghastly countenance, and strange exaggerated
manner.
`What is that apathetic being doing?' she demanded, pushing her thick
entangled locks from herwasted face. `Has he fallen into a lethargy, or
is he dead?'
`Neither,' replied I; `if you mean Mr Linton. He's tolerably well, I think,
though his studies occupyhim rather more than they ought: he is
continually among his books, since he has no other society.'
I should not have spoken so, if I had known her true condition, but I
could not get rid of the notionthat she acted a part of her disorder.
`Among his books!' she cried, confounded. `And I dying! I on the brink
of the grave! My God!does he know how I'm altered?' continued she, staring
at her reflection in a mirror hanging againstthe opposite wall. `Is that
Catherine Linton! He imagines me in a pet--in play, perhaps. Cannot
youinform him that it is frightful earnest? Nelly, if it be not too late,
as soon as I learn how he feels, I'llchoose between these two; either to
starve at once--that would be no punishment unless he had aheart--or to
recover, and leave the country. Are you speaking the truth about him now?
Take care.Is he actually so utterly indifferent for my life?'
`Why, ma'am,' I answered, `the master has no idea of your being deranged;
and of course he doesnot fear that you will let yourself die of hunger.'
`You think not? Cannot you tell him I will?' she returned. `Persuade him!
speak of your own mind:say you are certain I will!'
`No, you forget, Mrs Linton,' I suggested, `that you have eaten some food
with a relish thisevening, and tomorrow you will perceive its good
effects.'
`If I were only sure it would kill him,' she interrupted, `I'd kill myself
directly! These three awfulnights, I've never closed my lids--and oh, I've
been tormented! I've been haunted, Nelly! But Ibegin to fancy you don't
like me. How strange! I thought, though everybody hated and despisedeach
other, they could not avoid loving me. And they have all turned to enemies
in a few hours: theyhave, I'm positive; the people here. How dreary to
meet death, surrounded by their cold faces!Isabella terrified and
repelled, afraid to enter the room, it would be so dreadful to watch
Catherinego. And Edgar standing solemnly by to see it over; then offering
prayers of thanks to God forrestoring peace to his house, and going back
to his books! What in the name of all that feels has heto do with books,
when I am dying?'
She could not bear the notion which I had put into her head of Mr Linton's
philosophicalresignation. Tossing about, she increased her feverish
bewilderment to madness, and tore the pillowwith her teeth; then raising
herself up all burning, desired that I would open the window. We were inthe
middle of winter, the wind blew strong from the north-east, and I objected.
Both theexpressions flitting over her face, and the changes of her moods,
began to alarm me terribly; andbrought to my recollection her former
illness, and the doctor's injunction that she should not becrossed. A
minute previously she was violent; now, supported on one arm, and not
noticing myrefusal to obey her, she seemed to find childish diversion in
pulling the feathers from the rents shehad just made, and ranging them
on the sheet according to their different species: her mind hadstrayed
to other associations.
`That's a turkey's,' she murmured to herself; `and this is a wild duck's;
and this is a pigeon's.Ah,they put pigeons' feathers in the pillows--
no wonder I couldn't die! Let me take care to throw it onthe floor when
I lie down. And here is a moor-cock's; and this--I should know it among
athousand--it's a lapwing's. Bonny bird; wheeling over our heads in the
middle of the moor. Itwanted to get to its nest, for the clouds had touched
the swells, and it felt rain coming. This featherwas picked up from the
heath, the bird was not shot: we saw its nest in the winter, full of
littleskeletons. Heathcliff set a trap over it, and the old ones dare not
come. I made him promise he'dnever shoot a lapwing after that, and he
didn't. Yes, here are more! Did he shoot my lapwings,Nelly? Are they red,
any of them! Let me look.'
`Give over with that baby-work!' I interrupted, dragging the pillow away,
and turning the holestowards the mattress, for she was removing its
contents by handfuls. `Lie down and shut your eyes:you're wandering.
There's a mess! The down is flying about like snow.'
I went here and there collecting it.
`I see in you, Nelly,' she continued dreamily, `an aged woman: you have
grey hair and bentshoulders. This bed is the fairy cave under Peniston
Crag, and you are gathering elf-bolts to hurt ourheifers; pretending,
while I am near, that they are only locks of wool. That's what you'll come
to fiftyyears hence: I know you are not so now. I'm not wandering: you're
mistaken, or else I shouldbelieve you really were that withered hag, and
I should think I was under Peniston Crag; and I'mconscious it's night,
and there are two candles on the table making the black press shine like
jet.'
`The black press? where is that?' I asked. `You are talking in your
sleep!'
`It's against the wall, as it always is,' she replied. `It does appear
odd--I see a face in it!'
`There's no press in the room, and never was,' said I, resuming my seat,
and looping up the curtainthat I might watch her.
`Don't you see that face?' she inquired, gazing earnestly at the mirror.
And say what I could, I was incapable of making her comprehend it to be
her own; so I rose andcovered it with a shawl.
`It's behind there still!' she pursued anxiously. `And it stirred. Who
is it? I hope it will not come outwhen you are gone! Oh! Nelly, the room
is haunted! I'm afraid of being alone!'
I took her hand in mine, and bid her be composed: for a succession of
shudders convulsed herframe, and she would keep straining her gaze towards
the glass.
`There's nobody here!' I insisted. `It was yourself, Mrs Linton: you knew
it a while since.'
`Myself!' she gasped, `and the clock is striking twelve! It's true, then!
that's dreadful!'
Her fingers clutched the clothes, and gathered them over her eyes. I
attempted to steal to the doorwith an intention of calling her husband;
but I was summoned back by a piercing shriek--the shawlhad dropped from
the frame.
`Why, what is the matter?' cried I. `Who is coward now? Wake up! That
is the glass--the mirror,Mrs Linton; and you see yourself in it, and there
am I too, by your side.'
Trembling and bewildered, she held me fast, but the horror gradually
passed from her countenance;its paleness gave place to a glow of shame.
`Oh, dear! I thought I was at home,' she sighed. `I thought I was lying
in my chamber at WutheringHeights. Because I'm weak, my brain got confused,
and I screamed unconsciously. Don t sayanything; but stay with me. I dread
sleeping: my dreams appal me.'
`A sound sleep would do you good, ma'am,' I answered; `and I hope this
suffering will preventyour trying starving again.'
`Oh, if I were but in my own bed in the old house!' she went on bitterly,
wringing her hands, `Andthat wind sounding in the firs by the lattice.
Do let me feel it--it comes straight down the moor--dolet me have one
breath!'
To pacify her, I held the casement ajar a few seconds. A cold blast rushed
through; I closed it, andreturned to my post. She lay still now, her face
bathed in tears. Exhaustion of body had entirelysubdued her spirit: our
fiery Catherine was no better than a wailing child.
`How long is it since I shut myself in here?' she asked, suddenly
reviving.
`It was Monday evening,' I replied, `and this is Thursday night, or rather
Friday morning, atpresent.
`What! of the same week?' she exclaimed. `Only that brief time?'
`Long enough to live on nothing but cold water and ill-temper, observed
I.
`Well, it seems a weary number of hours,' she muttered doubtfully: `it
must be more. I rememberbeing in the parlour after they had quarrelled,
and Edgar being cruelly provoking, and me runninginto this room desperate.
As soon as ever I had barred the door, utter blackness overwhelmed me,and
I fell on the floor. I couldn't explain to Edgar how certain I felt of
having a fit, or going ragingmad, if he persisted in teasing me! I had
no command of tongue, or brain, and he did not guess myagony, perhaps:
it barely left me sense to try to escape from him and his voice. Before
I recoveredsufficiently to see and hear, it began to be dawn, and, Nelly,
I'll tell you what I thought, and whathas kept recurring and recurring
till I feared for my reason. I thought as I lay there, with my headagainst
that table leg, and my eyes dimly discerning the grey square of the window,
that I wasenclosed in the oak-panelled bed at home; and my heart ached
with some great grief which, justwaking, I could not recollect. I pondered,
and worried myself to discover what it could be, and,most strangely, the
whole last seven years of my life grew a blank! I did not recall that they
hadbeen at all. I was a child; my father was just buried, and my misery
arose from the separation thatHindley had ordered between me and
Heathcliff. I was laid alone, for the first time; and, rousingfrom a dismal
doze after a night of weeping, I lifted my hand to push the panels aside:
it struck thetable top! I swept it along the carpet, and then memory burst
in: my late anguish was swallowed in aparoxysm of despair. I cannot say
why I felt so wildly wretched: it must have been temporaryderangement,
for there is scarcely cause. But, supposing at twelve years old I had been
wrenchedfrom the Heights, and every early association, and my all in all,
as Heathcliff was at that time, andbeen converted at a stroke into Mrs
Linton, the lady of Thrushcross Grange, and the wife of astranger: an exile,
and outcast, thenceforth, from what had been my world. You may fancy
aglimpse of the abyss where I grovelled! Shake your head as you will, Nelly,
you have helped tounsettle me! You should have spoken to Edgar, indeed
you should, and compelled him to leave mequiet! Oh, I'm burning! I wish
I were out of doors! I wish I were a girl again, half savage and hardy,and
free; and laughing at injuries, not maddening under them! Why am I so
changed? why does myblood rush into a hell of tumult at a few words? I'm
sure I should be myself were I once among theheather on those hills. Open
the window again wide: fasten it open! Quick, why don't you move?'
`Because I won't give you your death of cold,' I answered.
`You won't give me a chance of life, you mean,' she said sullenly.
`However, I'm not helpless, yet:I'll open it myself.'
And sliding from the bed before I could hinder her, she crossed the room,
walking very uncertainly,threw it back, and bent out, careless of the
frosty air that cut about her shoulders as keen as a knife.I entreated,
and finally attempted to force her to retire. But I soon found her
delirious strength muchsurpassed mine (she was delirious, I became
convinced by her subsequent actions and ravings).There was no moon, and
everything beneath lay in misty darkness: not a light gleamed from
anyhouse, far or near--all had been extinguished long ago; and those at
Wuthering Heights were nevervisible--still she asserted she caught their
shining.
`Look!' she cried eagerly, `that's my room with the candle in it, and
the trees swaying before it: andthe other candle is in Joseph's garret.
Joseph sits up late, doesn't he? He's waiting till I come homethat he may
lock the gate. Well, he'll wait a while yet. It's a rough journey, and
a sad heart to travelit; and we must pass by Gimmerton Kirk, to go that
journey! We've braved its ghosts oftentogether, and dared each other to
stand among the graves and ask them to come. But, Heathcliff, ifI dare
you now, will you venture? If you do, I'll keep you. I'll not lie there
by myself: they may buryme twelve feet deep, and throw the church down
over me, but I won't rest till you are with me. Inever will!'
She paused, and resumed with a strange smile. `He's considering--he'd
rather I'd come to him!Find a way, then! not through that kirkyard. You
are slow! Be content, you always followed me!'
Perceiving it vain to argue against her insanity, I was planning how I
could reach something to wrapabout her, without quitting my hold of
herself (for I could not trust her alone by the gaping lattice),when, to
my consternation, I heard the rattle of the door handle, and Mr Linton
entered. He hadonly then come from the library; and, in passing through
the lobby, had noticed our talking and beenattracted by curiosity, or fear,
to examine what it signified, at that late hour.
`Oh, sir!' I cried, checking the exclamation risen to his lips at the
sight which met him, and the bleakatmosphere of the chamber. `My poor
mistress is ill, and she quite masters me: I cannot manage herat all; pray,
come and persuade her to go to bed. Forget your anger, for she's hard to
guide anyway but her own.'
`Catherine ill?' he said, hastening to us. `Shut the window, Ellen!
Catherine! why--
He was silent. The haggardness of Mrs Linton's appearance smote him
speechless, and he couldonly glance from her to me in horrified
astonishment.
`She's been fretting here,' I continued, `and eating scarcely anything,
and never complaining; shewould admit none of us till this evening, and
so we couldn't inform you of her state as we were notaware of it ourselves;
but it is nothing.'
I felt I uttered my explanations awkwardly; the master frowned. `It is
nothing, is it, Ellen Dean?' hesaid sternly. `You shall account more
clearly for keeping me ignorant of this!' And he took his wifein his arms,
and looked at her with anguish.
At first she gave him no glance of recognition; he was invisible to her
abstracted gaze. The deliriumwas not fixed, however; having weaned her
eyes from contemplating the outer darkness, bydegrees she centred her
attention on him, and discovered who it was that held her.
`Ah! you are come, are you, Edgar Linton?' she said, with angry animation.
`You are one of thosethings that are ever found when least wanted, and
when you are wanted, never! I suppose we shallhave plenty of lamentations
now--I see we shall--but they can't keep me from my narrow home outyonder:
my resting-place, where I'm bound before spring is over! There it is: not
among the Lintons,mind, under the chapel roof, but in the open air, with
a headstone; and you may please yourself,whether you go to them or come
to me!'
`Catherine, what have you done?' commenced the master. `Am I nothing to
you any more? Do youlove that wretch Heath--'
`Hush!' cried Mrs Linton. `Hush, this moment! You mention that name and
I end the matterinstantly, by a spring from the window! What you touch
at present you may have; but my soul willbe on that hill top before you
lay hands on me again. I don't want you, Edgar: I'm past wanting you.Return
to your books. I'm glad you possess a consolation, for all you had in me
is gone.'
`Her mind wanders, sir,' I interposed. `She has been talking nonsense
the whole evening; but lether have quiet, and proper attendance, and
she'll rally. Hereafter, we must be cautious how we vexher.'
`I desire no further advice from you,' answered Mr Linton. `You know your
mistress's nature, andyou encouraged me to harass her. And not to give
me one hint of how she has been these threedays! It was heartless! Months
of sickness could not cause such a change!'
I began to defend myself, thinking it too bad to be blamed for another's
wicked waywardness. `Iknew Mrs Linton's nature to be headstrong and
domineering,' cried I; `but I didn't know that youwished to foster her
fierce temper! I didn't know that, to humour her, I should wink at
MrHeathcliff. I performed the duty of a faithful servant in telling you,
and I have got a faithful servant'swages! Well, it will teach me to be
careful next time. Next time you may gather intelligence foryourself!'
`The next time you bring a tale to me, you shall quit my service, Ellen
Dean,' he replied.
`You'd rather hear nothing about it, I suppose, then, Mr Linton?' said
I. `Heathcliff has yourpermission to come a courting to miss, and to drop
in at every opportunity your absence offers, onpurpose to poison the
mistress against you?'
Confused as Catherine was, her wits were alert at applying our
conversation.
`Ah! Nelly has played traitor,' she exclaimed passionately. `Nelly is
my hidden enemy. You witch!So you do seek elf-bolts to hurt us! Let me
go, I'll make her rue! I'll make her howl a recantation!'
A maniac's fury kindled under her brows; she struggled desperately to
disengage herself fromLinton's arms. I felt no inclination to tarry the
event; and, resolving to seek medical aid on my ownresponsibility, I
quitted the chamber.
In passing the garden to reach the road, at a place where a bridle hook
is driven into the wall, Isaw something white moved irregularly, evidently
by another agent than the wind. Notwithstandingmy hurry, I stayed to
examine it, lest ever after I should have the conviction impressed on
myimagination that it was a creature of the other world. My surprise and
perplexity were great todiscover, by touch more than vision, Miss
Isabella's springer, Fanny, suspended by a handkerchief,and nearly at its
last gasp. I quickly released the animal, and lifted it into the garden.
I had seen itfollow its mistress upstairs when she went to bed; and
wondered much how it could have got outthere, and what mischievous person
had treated it so. While untying the knot round the hook, itseemed to me
that I repeatedly caught the beat of horses' feet galloping at some
distance; but therewere such a number of things to occupy my reflections
that I hardly gave the circumstance athought: though it was a strange sound,
in that place, at two o'clock in the morning.
Mr Kenneth was fortunately just issuing from his house to see a patient
in the village as I came upthe street; and my account of Catherine Linton's
malady induced him to accompany me backimmediately. He was a plain rough
man; and he made no scruple to speak his doubts of hersurviving this second
attack; unless she were more submissive to his directions than she had
shownherself before.
`Nelly Dean,' said he, `I can't help fancying there's an extra cause for
this. What has there been todo at the Grange? We've odd reports up here.
A stout, hearty lass like Catherine, does not fall illfor a trifle; and
that sort of people should not either. It's hard work bringing them through
fevers,and such things. How did it begin?'
`The master will inform you,' I answered; `but you are acquainted with
the Earnshaws' violentdispositions, and Mrs Linton caps them all. I may
say this: it commenced in a quarrel. She wasstruck during a tempest of
passion with a kind of fit. That's her account, at least; for she flew
off inthe height of it, and locked herself up. Afterwards, she refused
to eat, and now she alternately ravesand remains in a half-dream; knowing
those about her, by having her mind filled with all sorts ofstrange ideas
and illusions.'
`Mr Linton will be sorry?' observed Kenneth, interrogatively.
`Sorry? he'll break his heart should anything happen!' I replied. `Don't
alarm him more thannecessary.
`Well, I told him to beware,' said my companion; `and he must bide the
consequences of neglectingmy warning! Hasn't he been thick with Mr
Heathcliff, lately?'
`Heathcliff frequently visits at the Grange,' answered I, `though more
on the strength of the mistresshaving known him when a boy, than because
the master likes his company. At present, he'sdischarged from the trouble
of calling; owing to some presumptuous aspirations after Miss Lintonwhich
he manifested. I hardly think he'll be taken in again.'
`And does Miss Linton turn a cold shoulder on him?' was the doctor's next
question.
`I'm not in her confidence,' returned I, reluctant to continue the
subject.
`No, she's a sly one,' he remarked, shaking his head. `She keeps her own
counsel! But she's a reallittle fool. I have it from good authority, that,
last night (and a pretty night it was!) she and Heathcliffwere walking
in the plantation at the back of your house, above two hours; and he pressed
her notto go in again, but just mount his horse and away with him! My
informant said she could only puthim off by pledging her word of honour
to be prepared on their first meeting after that: when it wasto be, he
didn't hear; but you urge Mr Linton to look sharp!'
This news filled me with fresh fears; I outstripped Kenneth, and ran most
of the way back. Thelittle dog was yelping in the garden yet. I spared
a minute to open the gate for it, but instead of goingto the house door,
it coursed up and down snuffing the grass, and would have escaped to the
road,had I not seized and conveyed it in with me. On ascending to
Isabella's room, my suspicions wereconfirmed: it was empty. Had I been
a few hours sooner, Mrs Linton's illness might have arrestedher rash step.
But what could be done now? There was a bare possibility of overtaking
them ifpursued instantly. I could not pursue them, however; and I dare
not rouse the family, and fill theplace with confusion; still less unfold
the business to my master, absorbed as he was in his presentcalamity, and
having no heart to spare for a second grief! I saw nothing for it but to
hold my tongue,and suffer matters to take their course; and Kenneth being
arrived, I went with a badly composedcountenance to announce him.
Catherine lay in a troubled sleep: her husband had succeeded insoothing
the access of frenzy: he now hung over her pillow, watching every shade,
and everychange of her painfully expressive features.
The doctor, on examining the case for himself, spoke hopefully to him
of its having a favourabletermination, if we could only preserve around
her perfect and constant tranquillity. To me, hesignified the threatening
danger was not so much death, as permanent alienation of intellect.
I did not close my eyes that night, nor did Mr Linton: indeed, we never
went to bed; and theservants were all up long before the usual hour, moving
through the house with stealthy tread, andexchanging whispers as they
encountered each other in their vocations. Everyone was active, butMiss
Isabella; and they began to remark how sound she slept: her brother, too,
asked if she hadrisen, and seemed impatient for her presence, and hurt
that she showed so little anxiety for hersister-in-law. I trembled lest
he should send me to call her; but I was spared the pain of being thefirst
proclaimant of her flight. One of the maids, a thoughtless girl, who had
been on an early errandto Gimmerton, came panting upstairs, openmouthed,
and dashed into the chamber, crying:
`Oh, dear, dear! What mun we have next? Master, master, our young lady--
`Hold your noise!' cried I hastily, enraged at her clamorous manner.
`Speak lower, Mary--What is the matter?' said Mr Linton. `What ails your
young lady?'
`She's gone, she's gone! Yon' Heathcliff's run off wi' her!' gasped the
girl.
`That is not true!' exclaimed Linton, rising in agitation. `It cannot
be: how has the idea entered yourhead? Ellen Dean, go and seek her. It
is incredible: it cannot be.'
As he spoke he took the servant to the door, and then repeated his demand
to know her reasonsfor such an assertion.
`Why, I met on the road a lad that fetches milk here,' she stammered,
`and he asked whether weweren't in trouble at the Grange. I thought he
meant for missis's sickness, so I answered, yes. Thensays he, "They's
somebody gone after `em, I guess?" I stared. He saw I knew nought about
it, andhe told how a gentleman and lady had stopped to have a horse's shoe
fastened at a blacksmith'sshop, two miles out of Gimmerton, not very long
after midnight! and how the blacksmith's lass hadgot up to spy who they
were: she knew them both directly. And she noticed the man--Heathcliff
itwas, she felt certain: nobody could mistake him, besides--put a
sovereign in her father's hand forpayment. The lady had a cloak about her
face; but having desired a sup of water, while she drank,it fell back,
and she saw her very plain. Heathcliff held both bridles as they rode on,
and they settheir faces from the village, and went as fast as the rough
roads would let them. The lass saidnothing to her father, but she told
it all over Gimmerton this morning.'
I ran and peeped, for form's sake, into Isabella's room; confirming, when
I returned, the servant'sstatement. Mr Linton had resumed his seat by the
bed; on my re-entrance, he raised his eyes, readthe meaning of my blank
aspect, and dropped them without giving an order, or uttering a word.
`Are we to try any measures for overtaking and bringing her back?' I
inquired. `How should wedo?'
`She went of her own accord,' answered the master; `she had a right to
go if she pleased. Troubleme no more about her. Hereafter she is only my
sister in name: not because I disown her, butbecause she has disowned me.'
And that was all he said on the subject: he did not make a single inquiry
further, or mention her inany way, except directing me to send what
property she had in the house to her fresh home,wherever it was, when I
knew it.
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