English 版 (精华区)
发信人: fzx (化石), 信区: English
标 题: Women In Love 12
发信站: 紫 丁 香 (Thu May 20 15:30:11 1999), 转信
CHAPTER VII
Fetish
IN THE MORNING Gerald woke late. He had slept heavily. Pussum was still
asleep, sleepingchildishly and pathetically. There was something small
and curled up and defenceless about her, thatroused an unsatisfied flame
of passion in the young man's blood, a devouring avid pity. He lookedat
her again. But it would be too cruel to wake her. He subdued himself, and
went away.
Hearing voices coming from the sitting-room, Halliday talking to
Libidnikov, he went to the doorand glanced in. He had on a silk wrap of
a beautiful bluish colour, with an amethyst hem.
To his surprise he saw the two young men by the fire, stark naked. Halliday
looked up, ratherpleased.
`Good-morning,' he said. `Oh -- did you want towels?' And stark naked he
went out into the hall,striding a strange, white figure between the
unliving furniture. He came back with the towels, andtook his former
position, crouching seated before the fire on the fender.
`Don't you love to feel the fire on your skin?' he said.
`It is rather pleasant,' said Gerald.
`How perfectly splendid it must be to be in a climate where one could do
without clothingaltogether,' said Halliday.
`Yes,' said Gerald, `if there weren't so many things that sting and bite.'
`That's a disadvantage,' murmured Maxim.
Gerald looked at him, and with a slight revulsion saw the human animal,
golden skinned and bare,somehow humiliating. Halliday was different. He
had a rather heavy, slack, broken beauty, whiteand firm. He was like a
Christ in a Pieta. The animal was not there at all, only the heavy,
brokenbeauty. And Gerald realised how Halliday's eyes were beautiful too,
so blue and warm andconfused, broken also in their expression. The
fireglow fell on his heavy, rather bowed shoulders,he sat slackly crouched
on the fender, his face was uplifted, weak, perhaps slightly disintegrate,
andyet with a moving beauty of its own.
`Of course,' said Maxim, `you've been in hot countries where the people
go about naked.'
`Oh really!' exclaimed Halliday. `Where?'
`South America -- Amazon,' said Gerald.
`Oh but how perfectly splendid! It's one of the things I want most to do
-- to live from day to daywithout ever putting on any sort of clothing
whatever. If I could do that, I should feel I had lived.'
`But why?' said Gerald. `I can't see that it makes so much difference.'
`Oh, I think it would be perfectly splendid. I'm sure life would be
entirely another thing -- entirelydifferent, and perfectly wonderful.'
`But why?' asked Gerald. `Why should it?'
`Oh -- one would feel things instead of merely looking at them. I should
feel the air move againstme, and feel the things I touched, instead of
having only to look at them. I'm sure life is all wrongbecause it has become
much too visual -- we can neither hear nor feel nor understand, we can
onlysee. I'm sure that is entirely wrong.'
`Yes, that is true, that is true,' said the Russian.
Gerald glanced at him, and saw him, his suave, golden coloured body with
the black hair growingfine and freely, like tendrils, and his limbs like
smooth plant-stems. He was so healthy andwell-made, why did he make one
ashamed, why did one feel repelled? Why should Gerald evendislike it, why
did it seem to him to detract from his own dignity. Was that all a human
beingamounted to? So uninspired! thought Gerald.
Birkin suddenly appeared in the doorway, in white pyjamas and wet hair,
and a towel over his arm.He was aloof and white, and somehow evanescent.
`There's the bath-room now, if you want it,' he said generally, and was
going away again, whenGerald called:
`I say, Rupert!'
`What?' The single white figure appeared again, a presence in the room.
`What do you think of that figure there? I want to know,' Gerald asked.
Birkin, white and strangely ghostly, went over to the carved figure of
the negro woman in labour.Her nude, protuberant body crouched in a strange,
clutching posture, her hands gripping the ends ofthe band, above her
breast.
`It is art,' said Birkin.
`Very beautiful, it's very beautiful,' said the Russian.
They all drew near to look. Gerald looked at the group of men, the Russian
golden and like awater-plant, Halliday tall and heavily, brokenly
beautiful, Birkin very white and indefinite, not to beassigned, as he
looked closely at the carven woman. Strangely elated, Gerald also lifted
his eyes tothe face of the wooden figure. And his heart contracted.
He saw vividly with his spirit the grey, forward-stretching face of the
negro woman, African andtense, abstracted in utter physical stress. It
was a terrible face, void, peaked, abstracted almost intomeaninglessness
by the weight of sensation beneath. He saw the Pussum in it. As in a dream,
heknew her.
`Why is it art?' Gerald asked, shocked, resentful.
`It conveys a complete truth,' said Birkin. `It contains the whole truth
of that state, whatever youfeel about it.'
`But you can't call it high art,' said Gerald.
`High! There are centuries and hundreds of centuries of development in
a straight line, behind thatcarving; it is an awful pitch of culture, of
a definite sort.'
`What culture?' Gerald asked, in opposition. He hated the sheer African
thing.
`Pure culture in sensation, culture in the physical consciousness, really
ultimate physicalconsciousness, mindless, utterly sensual. It is so
sensual as to be final, supreme.'
But Gerald resented it. He wanted to keep certain illusions, certain ideas
like clothing.
`You like the wrong things, Rupert,' he said, `things against yourself.'
`Oh, I know, this isn't everything,' Birkin replied, moving away.
When Gerald went back to his room from the bath, he also carried his clothes.
He was soconventional at home, that when he was really away, and on the
loose, as now, he enjoyed nothingso much as full outrageousness. So he
strode with his blue silk wrap over his arm and felt defiant.
The Pussum lay in her bed, motionless, her round, dark eyes like black,
unhappy pools. He couldonly see the black, bottomless pools of her eyes.
Perhaps she suffered. The sensation of herinchoate suffering roused the
old sharp flame in him, a mordant pity, a passion almost of cruelty.
`You are awake now,' he said to her.
`What time is it?' came her muted voice.
She seemed to flow back, almost like liquid, from his approach, to sink
helplessly away from him.Her inchoate look of a violated slave, whose
fulfilment lies in her further and further violation, madehis nerves
quiver with acutely desirable sensation. After all, his was the only will,
she was thepassive substance of his will. He tingled with the subtle,
biting sensation. And then he knew, he mustgo away from her, there must
be pure separation between them.
It was a quiet and ordinary breakfast, the four men all looking very clean
and bathed. Gerald andthe Russian were both correct and comme il faut in
appearance and manner, Birkin was gaunt andsick, and looked a failure in
his attempt to be a properly dressed man, like Gerald and Maxim.Halliday
wore tweeds and a green flannel shirt, and a rag of a tie, which was just
right for him. TheHindu brought in a great deal of soft toast, and looked
exactly the same as he had looked the nightbefore, statically the same.
At the end of the breakfast the Pussum appeared, in a purple silk wrap
with a shimmering sash. Shehad recovered herself somewhat, but was mute
and lifeless still. It was a torment to her whenanybody spoke to her. Her
face was like a small, fine mask, sinister too, masked with
unwillingsuffering. It was almost midday. Gerald rose and went away to
his business, glad to get out. But hehad not finished. He was coming back
again at evening, they were all dining together, and he hadbooked seats
for the party, excepting Birkin, at a music-hall.
At night they came back to the flat very late again, again flushed with
drink. Again the man-servant-- who invariably disappeared between the
hours of ten and twelve at night -- came in silently andinscrutably with
tea, bending in a slow, strange, leopard-like fashion to put the tray
softly on thetable. His face was immutable, aristocratic-looking, tinged
slightly with grey under the skin; he wasyoung and good-looking. But
Birkin felt a slight sickness, looking at him, and feeling the
slightgreyness as an ash or a corruption, in the aristocratic
inscrutability of expression a nauseating,bestial stupidity.
Again they talked cordially and rousedly together. But already a certain
friability was coming overthe party, Birkin was mad with irritation,
Halliday was turning in an insane hatred against Gerald, thePussum was
becoming hard and cold, like a flint knife, and Halliday was laying himself
out to her.And her intention, ultimately, was to capture Halliday, to have
complete power over him.
In the morning they all stalked and lounged about again. But Gerald could
feel a strange hostility tohimself, in the air. It roused his obstinacy,
and he stood up against it. He hung on for two moredays. The result was
a nasty and insane scene with Halliday on the fourth evening. Halliday
turnedwith absurd animosity upon Gerald, in the cafe. There was a row.
Gerald was on the point ofknocking-in Halliday's face; when he was filled
with sudden disgust and indifference, and he wentaway, leaving Halliday
in a foolish state of gloating triumph, the Pussum hard and established,
andMaxim standing clear. Birkin was absent, he had gone out of town again.
Gerald was piqued because he had left without giving the Pussum money.
It was true, she did notcare whether he gave her money or not, and he knew
it. But she would have been glad of tenpounds, and he would have been very
glad to give them to her. Now he felt in a false position. Hewent away
chewing his lips to get at the ends of his short clipped moustache. He
knew the Pussumwas merely glad to be rid of him. She had got her Halliday
whom she wanted. She wanted himcompletely in her power. Then she would
marry him. She wanted to marry him. She had set her willon marrying
Halliday. She never wanted to hear of Gerald again; unless, perhaps, she
were indifficulty; because after all, Gerald was what she called a man,
and these others, Halliday,Libidnikov, Birkin, the whole Bohemian set,
they were only half men. But it was half men she coulddeal with. She felt
sure of herself with them. The real men, like Gerald, put her in her place
toomuch.
Still, she respected Gerald, she really respected him. She had managed
to get his address, so thatshe could appeal to him in time of distress.
She knew he wanted to give her money. She wouldperhaps write to him on
that inevitable rainy day.
--
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