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发信人: fzx (化石), 信区: English
标 题: Women In Love 26
发信站: 紫 丁 香 (Thu May 20 15:39:56 1999), 转信
CHAPTER XXVI
A Chair
THERE WAS a jumble market every Monday afternoon in the old market-place
in town. Ursula andBirkin strayed down there one afternoon. They had been
talking of furniture, and they wanted tosee if there was any fragment they
would like to buy, amid the heaps of rubbish collected on thecobble-
stones.
The old market-square was not very large, a mere bare patch of granite
setts, usually with a fewfruit-stalls under a wall. It was in a poor
quarter of the town. Meagre houses stood down one side,there was a hosiery
factory, a great blank with myriad oblong windows, at the end, a street
of littleshops with flagstone pavement down the other side, and, for a
crowning monument, the publicbaths, of new red brick, with a clock-tower.
The people who moved about seemed stumpy andsordid, the air seemed to smell
rather dirty, there was a sense of many mean streets ramifying offinto
warrens of meanness. Now and again a great chocolate-and-yellow tramcar
ground round adifficult bend under the hosiery factory.
Ursula was superficially thrilled when she found herself out among the
common people, in thejumbled place piled with old bedding, heaps of old
iron, shabby crockery in pale lots, muffled lotsof unthinkable clothing.
She and Birkin went unwillingly down the narrow aisle between the
rustywares. He was looking at the goods, she at the people.
She excitedly watched a young woman, who was going to have a baby, and
who was turning overa mattress and making a young man, down-at-heel and
dejected, feel it also. So secretive andactive and anxious the young woman
seemed, so reluctant, slinking, the young man. He was goingto marry her
because she was having a child.
When they had felt the mattress, the young woman asked the old man seated
on a stool among hiswares, how much it was. He told her, and she turned
to the young man. The latter was ashamed,and selfconscious. He turned his
face away, though he left his body standing there, and mutteredaside. And
again the woman anxiously and actively fingered the mattress and added
up in her mindand bargained with the old, unclean man. All the while, the
young man stood by, shamefaced anddown-at-heel, submitting.
`Look,' said Birkin, `there is a pretty chair.'
`Charming!' cried Ursula. `Oh, charming.'
It was an arm-chair of simple wood, probably birch, but of such fine
delicacy of grace, standingthere on the sordid stones, it almost brought
tears to the eyes. It was square in shape, of the purest,slender lines,
and four short lines of wood in the back, that reminded Ursula of
harpstrings.
`It was once,' said Birkin, `gilded -- and it had a cane seat. Somebody
has nailed this wooden seatin. Look, here is a trifle of the red that
underlay the gilt. The rest is all black, except where thewood is worn
pure and glossy. It is the fine unity of the lines that is so attractive.
Look, how theyrun and meet and counteract. But of course the wooden seat
is wrong -- it destroys the perfectlightness and unity in tension the cane
gave. I like it though --'
`Ah yes,' said Ursula, `so do I.'
`How much is it?' Birkin asked the man.
`Ten shillings.'
`And you will send it --?'
It was bought.
`So beautiful, so pure!' Birkin said. `It almost breaks my heart.' They
walked along between theheaps of rubbish. `My beloved country -- it had
something to express even when it made thatchair.'
`And hasn't it now?' asked Ursula. She was always angry when he took this
tone.
`No, it hasn't. When I see that clear, beautiful chair, and I think of
England, even Jane Austen'sEngland -- it had living thoughts to unfold
even then, and pure happiness in unfolding them. Andnow, we can only fish
among the rubbish heaps for the remnants of their old expression. There
is noproduction in us now, only sordid and foul mechanicalness.'
`It isn't true,' cried Ursula. `Why must you always praise the past, at
the expense of the present?Really, I don't think so much of Jane Austen's
England. It was materialistic enough, if you like --'
`It could afford to be materialistic,' said Birkin, `because it had the
power to be something other --which we haven't. We are materialistic
because we haven't the power to be anything else -- try aswe may, we can't
bring off anything but materialism: mechanism, the very soul of
materialism.'
Ursula was subdued into angry silence. She did not heed what he said. She
was rebelling againstsomething else.
`And I hate your past. I'm sick of it,' she cried. `I believe I even hate
that old chair, though it isbeautiful. It isn't my sort of beauty. I wish
it had been smashed up when its day was over, not left topreach the beloved
past to us. I'm sick of the beloved past.'
`Not so sick as I am of the accursed present,' he said.
`Yes, just the same. I hate the present -- but I don't want the past to
take its place -- I don't wantthat old chair.'
He was rather angry for a moment. Then he looked at the sky shining beyond
the tower of thepublic baths, and he seemed to get over it all. He laughed.
`All right,' he said, `then let us not have it. I'm sick of it all, too.
At any rate one can't go on living onthe old bones of beauty.'
`One can't,' she cried. `I don't want old things.'
`The truth is, we don't want things at all,' he replied. `The thought of
a house and furniture of myown is hateful to me.'
This startled her for a moment. Then she replied:
`So it is to me. But one must live somewhere.'
`Not somewhere -- anywhere,' he said. `One should just live anywhere --
not have a definite place.I don't want a definite place. As soon as you
get a room, and it is complete, you want to run fromit. Now my rooms at
the Mill are quite complete, I want them at the bottom of the sea. It is
ahorrible tyranny of a fixed milieu, where each piece of furniture is a
commandment-stone.'
She clung to his arm as they walked away from the market.
`But what are we going to do?' she said. `We must live somehow. And I do
want some beauty inmy surroundings. I want a sort of natural grandeur even,
splendour.'
`You'll never get it in houses and furniture -- or even clothes. Houses
and furniture and clothes, theyare all terms of an old base world, a
detestable society of man. And if you have a Tudor house andold, beautiful
furniture, it is only the past perpetuated on top of you, horrible. And
if you have aperfect modern house done for you by Poiret, it is something
else perpetuated on top of you. It is allhorrible. It is all possessions,
possessions, bullying you and turning you into a generalisation. Youhave
to be like Rodin, Michelangelo, and leave a piece of raw rock unfinished
to your figure. Youmust leave your surroundings sketchy, unfinished, so
that you are never contained, never confined,never dominated from the
outside.'
She stood in the street contemplating.
`And we are never to have a complete place of our own -- never a home?'
she said.
`Pray God, in this world, no,' he answered.
`But there's only this world,' she objected.
He spread out his hands with a gesture of indifference.
`Meanwhile, then, we'll avoid having things of our own,' he said.
`But you've just bought a chair,' she said.
`I can tell the man I don't want it,' he replied.
She pondered again. Then a queer little movement twitched her face.
`No,' she said, `we don't want it. I'm sick of old things.'
`New ones as well,' he said.
They retraced their steps.
There -- in front of some furniture, stood the young couple, the woman
who was going to have ababy, and the narrow-faced youth. She was fair,
rather short, stout. He was of medium height,attractively built. His dark
hair fell sideways over his brow, from under his cap, he stood
strangelyaloof, like one of the damned.
`Let us give it to them,' whispered Ursula. `Look they are getting a home
together.'
`I won't aid abet them in it,' he said petulantly, instantly sympathising
with the aloof, furtive youth,against the active, procreant female.
`Oh yes,' cried Ursula. `It's right for them -- there's nothing else for
them.'
`Very well,' said Birkin, `you offer it to them. I'll watch.'
Ursula went rather nervously to the young couple, who were discussing an
iron washstand -- orrather, the man was glancing furtively and wonderingly,
like a prisoner, at the abominable article,whilst the woman was arguing.
`We bought a chair,' said Ursula, `and we don't want it. Would you have
it? We should be glad ifyou would.'
The young couple looked round at her, not believing that she could be
addressing them.
`Would you care for it?' repeated Ursula. `It's really very pretty -- but
-- but --' she smiled ratherdazzlingly.
The young couple only stared at her, and looked significantly at each other,
to know what to do.And the man curiously obliterated himself, as if he
could make himself invisible, as a rat can.
`We wanted to give it to you,' explained Ursula, now overcome with
confusion and dread of them.She was attracted by the young man. He was
a still, mindless creature, hardly a man at all, acreature that the towns
have produced, strangely pure-bred and fine in one sense, furtive,
quick,subtle. His lashes were dark and long and fine over his eyes, that
had no mind in them, only adreadful kind of subject, inward consciousness,
glazed and dark. His dark brows and all his lines,were finely drawn. He
would be a dreadful, but wonderful lover to a woman, so
marvellouslycontributed. His legs would be marvellously subtle and alive,
under the shapeless, trousers, he hadsome of the fineness and stillness
and silkiness of a dark-eyed, silent rat.
Ursula had apprehended him with a fine frisson of attraction. The
full-built woman was staringoffensively. Again Ursula forgot him.
`Won't you have the chair?' she said.
The man looked at her with a sideways look of appreciation, yet faroff,
almost insolent. The womandrew herself up. There was a certain
costermonger richness about her. She did not know whatUrsula was after,
she was on her guard, hostile. Birkin approached, smiling wickedly at
seeingUrsula so nonplussed and frightened.
`What's the matter?' he said, smiling. His eyelids had dropped slightly,
there was about him thesame suggestive, mocking secrecy that was in the
bearing of the two city creatures. The man jerkedhis head a little on one
side, indicating Ursula, and said, with curious amiable, jeering warmth:
`What she warnt? -- eh?' An odd smile writhed his lips.
Birkin looked at him from under his slack, ironical eyelids.
`To give you a chair -- that -- with the label on it,' he said, pointing.
The man looked at the object indicated. There was a curious hostility in
male, outlawedunderstanding between the two men.
`What's she warnt to give it us for, guvnor,' he replied, in a tone of
free intimacy that insultedUrsula.
`Thought you'd like it -- it's a pretty chair. We bought it and don't want
it. No need for you to haveit, don't be frightened,' said Birkin, with
a wry smile.
The man glanced up at him, half inimical, half recognising.
`Why don't you want it for yourselves, if you've just bought it?' asked
the woman coolly. `'Taintgood enough for you, now you've had a look at
it. Frightened it's got something in it, eh?'
She was looking at Ursula, admiringly, but with some resentment.
`I'd never thought of that,' said Birkin. `But no, the wood's too thin
everywhere.'
`You see,' said Ursula, her face luminous and pleased. `We are just going
to get married, and wethought we'd buy things. Then we decided, just now,
that we wouldn't have furniture, we'd goabroad.'
The full-built, slightly blowsy city girl looked at the fine face of the
other woman, with appreciation.They appreciated each other. The youth
stood aside, his face expressionless and timeless, the thinline of the
black moustache drawn strangely suggestive over his rather wide, closed
mouth. He wasimpassive, abstract, like some dark suggestive presence, a
gutter-presence.
`It's all right to be some folks,' said the city girl, turning to her own
young man. He did not look ather, but he smiled with the lower part of
his face, putting his head aside in an odd gesture of assent.His eyes were
unchanging, glazed with darkness.
`Cawsts something to change your mind,' he said, in an incredibly low
accent.
`Only ten shillings this time,' said Birkin.
The man looked up at him with a grimace of a smile, furtive, unsure.
`Cheap at 'arf a quid, guvnor,' he said. `Not like getting divawced.'
`We're not married yet,' said Birkin.
`No, no more aren't we,' said the young woman loudly. `But we shall be,
a Saturday.'
Again she looked at the young man with a determined, protective look, at
once overbearing andvery gentle. He grinned sicklily, turning away his
head. She had got his manhood, but Lord, whatdid he care! He had a strange
furtive pride and slinking singleness.
`Good luck to you,' said Birkin.
`Same to you,' said the young woman. Then, rather tentatively: `When's
yours coming off, then?'
Birkin looked round at Ursula.
`It's for the lady to say,' he replied. `We go to the registrar the moment
she's ready.'
Ursula laughed, covered with confusion and bewilderment.
`No 'urry,' said the young man, grinning suggestive.
`Oh, don't break your neck to get there,' said the young woman. `'Slike
when you're dead -- you'relong time married.'
The young man turned aside as if this hit him.
`The longer the better, let us hope,' said Birkin.
`That's it, guvnor,' said the young man admiringly. `Enjoy it while it
larsts -- niver whip a deaddonkey.'
`Only when he's shamming dead,' said the young woman, looking at her young
man with caressivetenderness of authority.
`Aw, there's a difference,' he said satirically.
`What about the chair?' said Birkin.
`Yes, all right,' said the woman.
They trailed off to the dealer, the handsome but abject young fellow
hanging a little aside.
`That's it,' said Birkin. `Will you take it with you, or have the address
altered.'
`Oh, Fred can carry it. Make him do what he can for the dear old 'ome.'
`Mike use of'im,' said Fred, grimly humorous, as he took the chair from
the dealer. His movementswere graceful, yet curiously abject, slinking.
`'Ere's mother's cosy chair,' he said. `Warnts a cushion.' And he stood
it down on the marketstones.
`Don't you think it's pretty?' laughed Ursula.
`Oh, I do,' said the young woman.
`'Ave a sit in it, you'll wish you'd kept it,' said the young man.
Ursula promptly sat down in the middle of the market-place.
`Awfully comfortable,' she said. `But rather hard. You try it.' She
invited the young man to a seat.But he turned uncouthly, awkwardly aside,
glancing up at her with quick bright eyes, oddlysuggestive, like a quick,
live rat.
`Don't spoil him,' said the young woman. `He's not used to arm-chairs,
'e isn't.
The young man turned away, and said, with averted grin:
`Only warnts legs on 'is.'
The four parted. The young woman thanked them.
`Thank you for the chair -- it'll last till it gives way.'
`Keep it for an ornyment,' said the young man.
`Good afternoon -- Good afternoon,' said Ursula and Birkin.
`Goo'-luck to you,' said the young man, glancing and avoiding Birkin's
eyes, as he turned aside hishead.
The two couples went asunder, Ursula clinging to Birkin's arm. When they
had gone some distance,she glanced back and saw the young man going beside
the full, easy young woman. His trouserssank over his heels, he moved with
a sort of slinking evasion, more crushed with oddself-consciousness now
he had the slim old arm-chair to carry, his arm over the back, the four
fine,square tapering legs swaying perilously near the granite setts of
the pavement. And yet he wassomewhere indomitable and separate, like a
quick, vital rat. He had a queer, subterranean beauty,repulsive too.
`How strange they are!' said Ursula.
`Children of men,' he said. `They remind me of Jesus: "The meek shall
inherit the earth."'
`But they aren't the meek,' said Ursula.
`Yes, I don't know why, but they are,' he replied.
They waited for the tramcar. Ursula sat on top and looked out on the town.
The dusk was justdimming the hollows of crowded houses.
`And are they going to inherit the earth?' she said.
`Yes -- they.'
`Then what are we going to do?' she asked. `We're not like them -- are
we? We're not the meek?'
`No. We've got to live in the chinks they leave us.'
`How horrible!' cried Ursula. `I don't want to live in chinks.'
`Don't worry,' he said. `They are the children of men, they like
market-places and street-cornersbest. That leaves plenty of chinks.'
`All the world,' she said.
`Ah no -- but some room.'
The tramcar mounted slowly up the hill, where the ugly winter-grey masses
of houses looked like avision of hell that is cold and angular. They sat
and looked. Away in the distance was an angryredness of sunset. It was
all cold, somehow small, crowded, and like the end of the world.
`I don't mind it even then,' said Ursula, looking at the repulsiveness
of it all. `It doesn't concern me.'
`No more it does,' he replied, holding her hand. `One needn't see. One
goes one's way. In myworld it is sunny and spacious --'
`It is, my love, isn't it?' she cried, hugging near to him on the top of
the tramcar, so that the otherpassengers stared at them.
`And we will wander about on the face of the earth,' he said, `and we'll
look at the world beyondjust this bit.'
There was a long silence. Her face was radiant like gold, as she sat
thinking.
`I don't want to inherit the earth,' she said. `I don't want to inherit
anything.'
He closed his hand over hers.
`Neither do I. I want to be disinherited.'
She clasped his fingers closely.
`We won't care about anything,' she said.
He sat still, and laughed.
`And we'll be married, and have done with them,' she added.
Again he laughed.
`It's one way of getting rid of everything,' she said, `to get married.'
`And one way of accepting the whole world,' he added.
`A whole other world, yes,' she said happily.
`Perhaps there's Gerald -- and Gudrun --' he said.
`If there is there is, you see,' she said. `It's no good our worrying.
We can't really alter them, canwe?'
`No,' he said. `One has no right to try -- not with the best intentions
in the world.'
`Do you try to force them?' she asked.
`Perhaps,' he said. `Why should I want him to be free, if it isn't his
business?'
She paused for a time.
`We can't make him happy, anyhow,' she said. `He'd have to be it of
himself.'
`I know,' he said. `But we want other people with us, don't we?'
`Why should we?' she asked.
`I don't know,' he said uneasily. `One has a hankering after a sort of
further fellowship.'
`But why?' she insisted. `Why should you hanker after other people? Why
should you need them?'
This hit him right on the quick. His brows knitted.
`Does it end with just our two selves?' he asked, tense.
`Yes -- what more do you want? If anybody likes to come along, let them.
But why must you runafter them?'
His face was tense and unsatisfied.
`You see,' he said, `I always imagine our being really happy with some
few other people -- a littlefreedom with people.'
She pondered for a moment.
`Yes, one does want that. But it must happen. You can't do anything for
it with your will. Youalways seem to think you can force the flowers to
come out. People must love us because they loveus -- you can't make them.'
`I know,' he said. `But must one take no steps at all? Must one just go
as if one were alone in theworld -- the only creature in the world?'
`You've got me,' she said. `Why should you need others? Why must you force
people to agree withyou? Why can't you be single by yourself, as you are
always saying? You try to bully Gerald -- asyou tried to bully Hermione.
You must learn to be alone. And it's so horrid of you. You've got me.And
yet you want to force other people to love you as well. You do try to bully
them to love you.And even then, you don't want their love.'
His face was full of real perplexity.
`Don't I?' he said. `It's the problem I can't solve. I know I want a perfect
and complete relationshipwith you: and we've nearly got it -- we really
have. But beyond that. Do I want a real, ultimaterelationship with Gerald?
Do I want a final, almost extra-human relationship with him --
arelationship in the ultimate of me and him -- or don't I?'
She looked at him for a long time, with strange bright eyes, but she did
not answer.
--
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