English 版 (精华区)
发信人: fzx (化石), 信区: English
标 题: Women In Love 28
发信站: 紫 丁 香 (Thu May 20 15:41:18 1999), 转信
CHAPTER XXVIII
Gudrun in the Pompadour
CHRISTMAS DREW NEAR, all four prepared for flight. Birkin and Ursula were
busy packing theirfew personal things, making them ready to be sent off,
to whatever country and whatever place theymight choose at last. Gudrun
was very much excited. She loved to be on the wing.
She and Gerald, being ready first, set off via London and Paris to
Innsbruck, where they wouldmeet Ursula and Birkin. In London they stayed
one night. They went to the music-hall, andafterwards to the Pompadour
Cafe.
Gudrun hated the Cafe, yet she always went back to it, as did most of the
artists of heracquaintance. She loathed its atmosphere of petty vice and
petty jealousy and petty art. Yet shealways called in again, when she was
in town. It was as if she had to return to this small, slow,central
whirlpool of disintegration and dissolution: just give it a look.
She sat with Gerald drinking some sweetish liqueur, and staring with black,
sullen looks at thevarious groups of people at the tables. She would greet
nobody, but young men nodded to herfrequently, with a kind of sneering
familiarity. She cut them all. And it gave her pleasure to sit there,cheeks
flushed, eyes black and sullen, seeing them all objectively, as put away
from her, likecreatures in some menagerie of apish degraded souls. God,
what a foul crew they were! Her bloodbeat black and thick in her veins
with rage and loathing. Yet she must sit and watch, watch. One ortwo people
came to speak to her. From every side of the Cafe, eyes turned half
furtively, halfjeeringly at her, men looking over their shoulders, women
under their hats.
The old crowd was there, Carlyon in his corner with his pupils and his
girl, Halliday and Libidnikovand the Pussum -- they were all there. Gudrun
watched Gerald. She watched his eyes linger amoment on Halliday, on
Halliday's party. These last were on the look-out -- they nodded to him,
henodded again. They giggled and whispered among themselves. Gerald
watched them with thesteady twinkle in his eyes. They were urging the
Pussum to something.
She at last rose. She was wearing a curious dress of dark silk splashed
and spattered with differentcolours, a curious motley effect. She was
thinner, her eyes were perhaps hotter, more disintegrated.Otherwise she
was just the same. Gerald watched her with the same steady twinkle in his
eyes asshe came across. She held out her thin brown hand to him.
`How are you?' she said.
He shook hands with her, but remained seated, and let her stand near him,
against the table. Shenodded blackly to Gudrun, whom she did not know to
speak to, but well enough by sight andreputation.
`I am very well,' said Gerald. `And you?'
`Oh I'm all wight. What about Wupert?'
`Rupert? He's very well, too.'
`Yes, I don't mean that. What about him being married?'
`Oh -- yes, he is married.'
The Pussum's eyes had a hot flash.
`Oh, he's weally bwought it off then, has he? When was he married?'
`A week or two ago.'
`Weally! He's never written.'
`No.'
`No. Don't you think it's too bad?'
This last was in a tone of challenge. The Pussum let it be known by her
tone, that she was aware ofGudrun's listening.
`I suppose he didn't feel like it,' replied Gerald.
`But why didn't he?' pursued the Pussum.
This was received in silence. There was an ugly, mocking persistence in
the small, beautiful figure ofthe short-haired girl, as she stood near
Gerald.
`Are you staying in town long?' she asked.
`Tonight only.'
`Oh, only tonight. Are you coming over to speak to Julius?'
`Not tonight.'
`Oh very well. I'll tell him then.' Then came her touch of diablerie.
`You're looking awf'lly fit.'
`Yes -- I feel it.' Gerald was quite calm and easy, a spark of satiric
amusement in his eye.
`Are you having a good time?'
This was a direct blow for Gudrun, spoken in a level, toneless voice of
callous ease.
`Yes,' he replied, quite colourlessly.
`I'm awf'lly sorry you aren't coming round to the flat. You aren't very
faithful to your fwiends.'
`Not very,' he said.
She nodded them both `Good-night', and went back slowly to her own set.
Gudrun watched hercurious walk, stiff and jerking at the loins. They heard
her level, toneless voice distinctly.
`He won't come over; -- he is otherwise engaged,' it said. There was more
laughter and loweredvoices and mockery at the table.
`Is she a friend of yours?' said Gudrun, looking calmly at Gerald.
`I've stayed at Halliday's flat with Birkin,' he said, meeting her slow,
calm eyes. And she knew thatthe Pussum was one of his mistresses -- and
he knew she knew.
She looked round, and called for the waiter. She wanted an iced cocktail,
of all things. This amusedGerald -- he wondered what was up.
The Halliday party was tipsy, and malicious. They were talking out loudly
about Birkin, ridiculinghim on every point, particularly on his marriage.
`Oh, don't make me think of Birkin,' Halliday was squealing. `He makes
me perfectly sick. He is asbad as Jesus. "Lord, what must I do to be
saved!"'
He giggled to himself tipsily.
`Do you remember,' came the quick voice of the Russian, `the letters he
used to send. "Desire isholy--"'
`Oh yes!' cried Halliday. `Oh, how perfectly splendid. Why, I've got one
in my pocket. I'm sure Ihave.'
He took out various papers from his pocket book.
`I'm sure I've -- hic! Oh dear! -- got one.'
Gerald and Gudrun were watching absorbedly.
`Oh yes, how perfectly -- hic! -- splendid! Don't make me laugh, Pussum,
it gives me the hiccup.Hic! --' They all giggled.
`What did he say in that one?' the Pussum asked, leaning forward, her dark,
soft hair falling andswinging against her face. There was something
curiously indecent, obscene, about her small,longish, dark skull,
particularly when the ears showed.
`Wait -- oh do wait! No-o, I won't give it to you, I'll read it aloud.
I'll read you the choice bits, --hic! Oh dear! Do you think if I drink
water it would take off this hiccup? Hic! Oh, I feel perfectlyhelpless.'
`Isn't that the letter about uniting the dark and the light -- and the
Flux of Corruption?' askedMaxim, in his precise, quick voice.
`I believe so,' said the Pussum.
`Oh is it? I'd forgotten -- hic! -- it was that one,' Halliday said, opening
the letter. `Hic! Oh yes.How perfectly splendid! This is one of the best.
"There is a phase in every race --"' he read in thesing-song, slow,
distinct voice of a clergyman reading the Scriptures, `"When the desire
fordestruction overcomes every other desire. In the individual, this
desire is ultimately a desire fordestruction in the self" -- hic! --' he
paused and looked up.
`I hope he's going ahead with the destruction of himself,' said the quick
voice of the Russian.Halliday giggled, and lolled his head back, vaguely.
`There's not much to destroy in him,' said the Pussum. `He's so thin
already, there's only a fag-endto start on.'
`Oh, isn't it beautiful! I love reading it! I believe it has cured my
hiccup!' squealed Halliday. `Do letme go on. "It is a desire for the
reduction process in oneself, a reducing back to the origin, a returnalong
the Flux of Corruption, to the original rudimentary conditions of being
--!" Oh, but I do thinkit is wonderful. It almost supersedes the Bible--'
`Yes -- Flux of Corruption,' said the Russian, `I remember that phrase.'
`Oh, he was always talking about Corruption,' said the Pussum. `He must
be corrupt himself, tohave it so much on his mind.'
`Exactly!' said the Russian.
`Do let me go on! Oh, this is a perfectly wonderful piece! But do listen
to this. "And in the greatretrogression, the reducing back of the created
body of life, we get knowledge, and beyondknowledge, the phosphorescent
ecstasy of acute sensation." Oh, I do think these phrases are tooabsurdly
wonderful. Oh but don't you think they are -- they're nearly as good as
Jesus. "And if,Julius, you want this ecstasy of reduction with the Pussum,
you must go on till it is fulfilled. Butsurely there is in you also,
somewhere, the living desire for positive creation, relationships in
ultimatefaith, when all this process of active corruption, with all its
flowers of mud, is transcended, and moreor less finished --" I do wonder
what the flowers of mud are. Pussum, you are a flower of mud.'
`Thank you -- and what are you?'
`Oh, I'm another, surely, according to this letter! We're all flowers of
mud -- Fleurs -- hic! du mal!It's perfectly wonderful, Birkin harrowing
Hell -- harrowing the Pompadour -- Hic!'
`Go on -- go on,' said Maxim. `What comes next? It's really very
interesting.'
`I think it's awful cheek to write like that,' said the Pussum.
`Yes -- yes, so do I,' said the Russian. `He is a megalomaniac, of course,
it is a form of religiousmania. He thinks he is the Saviour of man -- go
on reading.'
`Surely,' Halliday intoned, ` "surely goodness and mercy hath followed
me all the days of my life --"' he broke off and giggled. Then he began
again, intoning like a clergyman. ` "Surely there will comean end in us
to this desire -- for the constant going apart, -- this passion for putting
asunder --everything -- ourselves, reducing ourselves part from part --
reacting in intimacy only fordestruction, -- using sex as a great reducing
agent, reducing the two great elements of male andfemale from their highly
complex unity -- reducing the old ideas, going back to the savages for
oursensations, -- always seeking to lose ourselves in some ultimate black
sensation, mindless andinfinite -- burning only with destructive fires,
raging on with the hope of being burnt out utterly --" '
`I want to go,' said Gudrun to Gerald, as she signalled the waiter. Her
eyes were flashing, hercheeks were flushed. The strange effect of Birkin's
letter read aloud in a perfect clerical sing-song,clear and resonant,
phrase by phrase, made the blood mount into her head as if she were mad.
She rose, whilst Gerald was paying the bill, and walked over to Halliday's
table. They all glanced upat her.
`Excuse me,' she said. `Is that a genuine letter you are reading?'
`Oh yes,' said Halliday. `Quite genuine.'
`May I see?'
Smiling foolishly he handed it to her, as if hypnotised.
`Thank you,' she said.
And she turned and walked out of the Cafe with the letter, all down the
brilliant room, between thetables, in her measured fashion. It was some
moments before anybody realised what washappening.
From Halliday's table came half articulate cries, then somebody booed,
then all the far end of theplace began booing after Gudrun's retreating
form. She was fashionably dressed in blackish-greenand silver, her hat
was brilliant green, like the sheen on an insect, but the brim was soft
dark green,a falling edge with fine silver, her coat was dark green,
lustrous, with a high collar of grey fur, andgreat fur cuffs, the edge
of her dress showed silver and black velvet, her stockings and shoes
weresilver grey. She moved with slow, fashionable indifference to the door.
The porter openedobsequiously for her, and, at her nod, hurried to the
edge of the pavement and whistled for a taxi.The two lights of a vehicle
almost immediately curved round towards her, like two eyes.
Gerald had followed in wonder, amid all the booing, not having caught her
misdeed. He heard thePussum's voice saying:
`Go and get it back from her. I never heard of such a thing! Go and get
it back from her. TellGerald Crich -- there he goes -- go and make him
give it up.'
Gudrun stood at the door of the taxi, which the man held open for her.
`To the hotel?' she asked, as Gerald came out, hurriedly.
`Where you like,' he answered.
`Right!' she said. Then to the driver, `Wagstaff's -- Barton Street.'
The driver bowed his head, and put down the flag.
Gudrun entered the taxi, with the deliberate cold movement of a woman who
is well-dressed andcontemptuous in her soul. Yet she was frozen with
overwrought feelings. Gerald followed her.
`You've forgotten the man,' she said cooly, with a slight nod of her hat.
Gerald gave the porter ashilling. The man saluted. They were in motion.
`What was all the row about?' asked Gerald, in wondering excitement.
`I walked away with Birkin's letter,' she said, and he saw the crushed
paper in her hand.
His eyes glittered with satisfaction.
`Ah!' he said. `Splendid! A set of jackasses!'
`I could have killed them!' she cried in passion. `Dogs! -- they are dogs!
Why is Rupert such a foolas to write such letters to them? Why does he
give himself away to such canaille? It's a thing thatcannot be borne.'
Gerald wondered over her strange passion.
And she could not rest any longer in London. They must go by the morning
train from CharingCross. As they drew over the bridge, in the train, having
glimpses of the river between the great irongirders, she cried:
`I feel I could never see this foul town again -- I couldn't bear to come
back to it.'
--
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