English 版 (精华区)
发信人: fzx (化石), 信区: English
标 题: Sons and Lovers 6
发信站: 紫 丁 香 (Thu May 20 15:02:08 1999), 转信
CHAPTER VI
DEATH IN THE FAMILY
ARTHUR MOREL was growing up. He was a quick, careless, impulsive boy,a
good deal like his father. He hated study, made a great moan if hehad
to work, and escaped as soon as possible to his sport again.
In appearance he remained the flower of the family,being well made,
graceful, and full of life. His dark brown hairand fresh colouring, and
his exquisite dark blue eyes shaded withlong lashes, together with his
generous manner and fiery temper,made him a favourite. But as he grew
older his temper became uncertain. He flew into rages over nothing, seemed
unbearably raw and irritable.
His mother, whom he loved, wearied of him sometimes. He thought only of
himself. When he wanted amusement, all thatstood in his way he hated,
even if it were she. When he was in trouble he moaned to her ceaselessly.
"Goodness, boy!" she said, when he groaned about a master who,he said,
hated him, "if you don't like it, alter it, and if youcan't alter it, put
up with it."
And his father, whom he had loved and who had worshipped him,he came to
detest. As he grew older Morel fell into a slow ruin. His body, which
had been beautiful in movement and in being,shrank, did not seem to ripen
with the years, but to get meanand rather despicable. There came over
him a look of meannessand of paltriness. And when the mean-looking
elderly man bullied orordered the boy about, Arthur was furious.
Moreover, Morel's mannersgot worse and worse, his habits somewhat
disgusting. When thechildren were growing up and in the crucial stage
of adolescence,the father was like some ugly irritant to their souls. His
mannersin the house were the same as he used among the colliers down pit.
"Dirty nuisance!" Arthur would cry, jumping up and goingstraight out of
the house when his father disgusted him. And Morel persisted the more
because his children hated it. He seemed to take a kind of satisfaction
in disgusting them,and driving them nearly mad, while they were so
irritably sensitiveat the age of fourteen or fifteen. So that Arthur,
who was growingup when his father was degenerate and elderly, hated him
worstof all.
Then, sometimes, the father would seem to feel the contemptuoushatred of
his children.
"There's not a man tries harder for his family!" he would shout. "He does
his best for them, and then gets treated like a dog. But I'm not going
to stand it, I tell you!"
But for the threat and the fact that he did not try so hardas be imagined,
they would have felt sorry. As it was, the battlenow went on nearly all
between father and children, he persistingin his dirty and disgusting ways,
just to assert his independence. They loathed him.
Arthur was so inflamed and irritable at last, that when hewon a scholarship
for the Grammar School in Nottingham, his motherdecided to let him live
in town, with one of her sisters, and onlycome home at week-ends.
Annie was still a junior teacher in the Board-school, earningabout four
shillings a week. But soon she would have fifteen shillings,since she
had passed her examination, and there would be financialpeace in the
house.
Mrs. Morel clung now to Paul. He was quiet and not brilliant. But still
he stuck to his painting, and still he stuck to his mother. Everything
he did was for her. She waited for his coming homein the evening, and
then she unburdened herself of all shehad pondered, or of all that had
occurred to her during the day. He sat and listened with his earnestness.
The two shared lives.
William was engaged now to his brunette, and had bought heran engagement
ring that cost eight guineas. The children gaspedat such a fabulous
price.
"Eight guineas!" said Morel. "More fool him! If he'd gen mesome on't,
it 'ud ha' looked better on 'im."
"Given YOU some of it!" cried Mrs. Morel. "Why give YOUsome of it!"
She remembered HE had bought no engagement ring at all,and she preferred
William, who was not mean, if he were foolish. But now the young man talked
only of the dances to which he wentwith his betrothed, and the different
resplendent clothes she wore;or he told his mother with glee how they went
to the theatre likegreat swells.
He wanted to bring the girl home. Mrs. Morel said sheshould come at the
Christmas. This time William arrived witha lady, but with no presents.
Mrs. Morel had prepared supper. Hearing footsteps, she rose and went to
the door. William entered.
"Hello, mother!" He kissed her hastily, then stood asideto present a tall,
handsome girl, who was wearing a costume of fineblack-and-white check,
and furs.
"Here's Gyp!"
Miss Western held out her hand and showed her teeth in a small smile.
"Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Morel!" she exclaimed.
"I am afraid you will be hungry," said Mrs. Morel.
"Oh no, we had dinner in the train. Have you got my gloves, Chubby?"
William Morel, big and raw-boned, looked at her quickly.
"How should I?" he said.
"Then I've lost them. Don't be cross with me."
A frown went over his face, but he said nothing. She glancedround the
kitchen. It was small and curious to her, with itsglittering
kissing-bunch, its evergreens behind the pictures,its wooden chairs and
little deal table. At that moment Morelcame in.
"Hello, dad!"
"Hello, my son! Tha's let on me!"
The two shook hands, and William presented the lady. She gave the same
smile that showed her teeth.
"How do you do, Mr. Morel?"
Morel bowed obsequiously.
"I'm very well, and I hope so are you. You must make yourselfvery
welcome."
"Oh, thank you," she replied, rather amused.
"You will like to go upstairs," said Mrs. Morel.
"If you don't mind; but not if it is any trouble to you."
"It is no trouble. Annie will take you. Walter, carry upthis box."
"And don't be an hour dressing yourself up," said Williamto his betrothed.
Annie took a brass candlestick, and, too shy almost to speak,preceded the
young lady to the front bedroom, which Mr. and Mrs. Morelhad vacated for
her. It, too, was small and cold by candlelight. The colliers' wives only
lit fires in bedrooms in case of extreme illness.
"Shall I unstrap the box?" asked Annie.
"Oh, thank you very much!"
Annie played the part of maid, then went downstairs for hot water.
"I think she's rather tired, mother," said William. "It's a beastly
journey, and we had such a rush."
"Is there anything I can give her?" asked Mrs. Morel.
"Oh no, she'll be all right."
But there was a chill in the atmosphere. After half an hourMiss Western
came down, having put on a purplish-coloured dress,very fine for the
collier's kitchen.
"I told you you'd no need to change," said William to her.
"Oh, Chubby!" Then she turned with that sweetish smileto Mrs. Morel.
"Don't you think he's always grumbling, Mrs. Morel?"
"Is he?" said Mrs. Morel. "That's not very nice of him."
"It isn't, really!"
"You are cold," said the mother. "Won't you come near the fire?"
Morel jumped out of his armchair.
"Come and sit you here!" he cried. "Come and sit you here!"
"No, dad, keep your own chair. Sit on the sofa, Gyp," said William.
"No, no!" cried Morel. "This cheer's warmest. Come and sit here,Miss
Wesson."
"Thank you so much," said the girl, seating herselfin the collier's
armchair, the place of honour. She shivered,feeling the warmth of the
kitchen penetrate her.
"Fetch me a hanky, Chubby dear!" she said, putting up her mouthto him,
and using the same intimate tone as if they were alone;which made the rest
of the family feel as if they ought not tobe present. The young lady
evidently did not realise them as people: they were creatures to her for
the present. William winced.
In such a household, in Streatham, Miss Western would have beena lady
condescending to her inferiors. These people were to her,certainly
clownish--in short, the working classes. How was sheto adjust herself?
"I'll go," said Annie.
Miss Western took no notice, as if a servant had spoken. But when the girl
came downstairs again with the handkerchief,she said: "Oh, thank you!"
in a gracious way.
She sat and talked about the dinner on the train, which had beenso poor;
about London, about dances. She was really very nervous,and chattered
from fear. Morel sat all the time smoking his thicktwist tobacco,
watching her, and listening to her glib London speech,as he puffed. Mrs.
Morel, dressed up in her best black silk blouse,answered quietly and
rather briefly. The three children satround in silence and admiration.
Miss Western was the princess. Everything of the best was got out for her:
the best cups,the best spoons, the best table cloth, the best coffee-
jug. Thechildren thought she must find it quite grand. She felt
strange,not able to realise the people, not knowing how to treat them.
William joked, and was slightly uncomfortable.
At about ten o'clock he said to her:
"Aren't you tired, Gyp?"
"Rather, Chubby," she answered, at once in the intimate tonesand putting
her head slightly on one side.
"I'll light her the candle, mother," he said.
"Very well," replied the mother.
Miss Western stood up, held out her hand to Mrs. Morel.
"Good-night, Mrs. Morel," she said.
Paul sat at the boiler, letting the water run from the tapinto a stone
beer-bottle. Annie swathed the bottle in an old flannelpit-singlet, and
kissed her mother good-night. She was to sharethe room with the lady,
because the house was full.
"You wait a minute," said Mrs. Morel to Annie. And Annie satnursing the
hot-water bottle. Miss Western shook hands all round,to everybody's
discomfort, and took her departure, preceded by William. In five minutes
he was downstairs again. His heart was rather sore;he did not know why.
He talked very little till everybody had goneto bed, but himself and his
mother. Then he stood with his legs apart,in his old attitude on the
hearthrug, and said hesitatingly:
"Well, mother?"
"Well, my son?"
She sat in the rocking-chair, feeling somehow hurt and humiliated,for his
sake.
"Do you like her?"
"Yes," came the slow answer.
"She's shy yet, mother. She's not used to it. It's differentfrom her
aunt's house, you know."
"Of course it is, my boy; and she must find it difficult."
"She does." Then he frowned swiftly. "If only she wouldn'tput on her
BLESSED airs!"
"It's only her first awkwardness, my boy. She'll be all right."
"That's it, mother," he replied gratefully. But his browwas gloomy.
"You know, she's not like you, mother. She's not serious,and she can't
think."
"She's young, my boy."
"Yes; and she's had no sort of show. Her mother died when she wasa child.
Since then she's lived with her aunt, whom she can't bear. And her father
was a rake. She's had no love."
"No! Well, you must make up to her."
"And so--you have to forgive her a lot of things."
"WHAT do you have to forgive her, my boy?"
"I dunno. When she seems shallow, you have to remember she'snever had
anybody to bring her deeper side out. And she's FEARFULLYfond of me."
"Anybody can see that."
"But you know, mother--she's--she's different from us. Those sort of
people, like those she lives amongst, they don't seemto have the same
principles."
"You mustn't judge too hastily," said Mrs. Morel.
But he seemed uneasy within himself.
In the morning, however, he was up singing and larking roundthe house.
"Hello!" he called, sitting on the stairs. "Are you getting up?"
"Yes," her voice called faintly.
"Merry Christmas!" he shouted to her.
Her laugh, pretty and tinkling, was heard in the bedroom. She did not come
down in half an hour.
"Was she REALLY getting up when she said she was?" he askedof Annie.
"Yes, she was," replied Annie.
He waited a while, then went to the stairs again.
"Happy New Year," he called.
"Thank you, Chubby dear!" came the laughing voice, far away.
"Buck up!" he implored.
It was nearly an hour, and still he was waiting for her. Morel, who always
rose before six, looked at the clock.
"Well, it's a winder!" he exclaimed.
The family had breakfasted, all but William. He wentto the foot of the
stairs.
"Shall I have to send you an Easter egg up there?" he called,rather crossly.
She only laughed. The family expected, after thattime of preparation,
something like magic. At last she came,looking very nice in a blouse and
skirt.
"Have you REALLY been all this time getting ready?" he asked.
"Chubby dear! That question is not permitted, is it,Mrs. Morel?"
She played the grand lady at first. When she went with Williamto chapel,
he in his frock-coat and silk hat, she in her fursand London-made costume,
Paul and Arthur and Annie expectedeverybody to bow to the ground in
admiration. And Morel, standing in his Sunday suit at the end of the
road,watching the gallant pair go, felt he was the father of princesand
princesses.
And yet she was not so grand. For a year now she had beena sort of
secretary or clerk in a London office. But while shewas with the Morels
she queened it. She sat and let Annie or Paulwait on her as if they were
her servants. She treated Mrs. Morelwith a certain glibness and Morel
with patronage. But after a dayor so she began to change her tune.
William always wanted Paul or Annie to go along with themon their walks.
It was so much more interesting. And Paul reallyDID admire "Gipsy"
wholeheartedly; in fact, his mother scarcelyforgave the boy for the
adulation with which he treated the girl.
On the second day, when Lily said: "Oh, Annie, do you knowwhere I left
my muff?" William replied:
"You know it is in your bedroom. Why do you ask Annie?"
And Lily went upstairs with a cross, shut mouth. But itangered the young
man that she made a servant of his sister.
On the third evening William and Lily were sitting togetherin the parlour
by the fire in the dark. At a quarter to elevenMrs. Morel was heard raking
the fire. William came out to the kitchen,followed by his beloved.
"Is it as late as that, mother?" he said. She had beensitting alone.
"It is not LATE, my boy, but it is as late as I usually sit up."
"Won't you go to bed, then?" he asked.
"And leave you two? No, my boy, I don't believe in it."
"Can't you trust us, mother?"
"Whether I can or not, I won't do it. You can stay till elevenif you like,
and I can read."
"Go to bed, Gyp," he said to his girl. "We won't keepmater waiting."
"Annie has left the candle burning, Lily," said Mrs. Morel;"I think you
will see."
"Yes, thank you. Good-night, Mrs. Morel."
William kissed his sweetheart at the foot of the stairs,and she went. He
returned to the kitchen.
"Can't you trust us, mother?" he repeated, rather offended.
"My boy, I tell you I don't BELIEVE in leaving two youngthings like you
alone downstairs when everyone else is in bed."
And he was forced to take this answer. He kissed his mothergood-night.
At Easter he came over alone. And then he discussed hissweetheart
endlessly with his mother.
"You know, mother, when I'm away from her I don't care for hera bit. I
shouldn't care if I never saw her again. But, then,when I'm with her in
the evenings I am awfully fond of her."
"It's a queer sort of love to marry on," said Mrs. Morel,"if she holds
you no more than that!"
"It IS funny!" he exclaimed. It worried and perplexed him. "But yet-
-there's so much between us now I couldn't give her up."
"You know best," said Mrs. Morel. "But if it is as you say, Iwouldn't
call it LOVE--at any rate, it doesn't look much like it."
"Oh, I don't know, mother. She's an orphan, and---"
They never came to any sort of conclusion. He seemed puzzledand rather
fretted. She was rather reserved. All his strengthand money went in
keeping this girl. He could scarcely affordto take his mother to
Nottingham when he came over.
Paul's wages had been raised at Christmas to ten shillings,to his great
joy. He was quite happy at Jordan's, but his healthsuffered from the long
hours and the confinement. His mother,to whom he became more and more
significant, thought how to help.
His half-day holiday was on Monday afternoon. On a Mondaymorning in May,
as the two sat alone at breakfast, she said:
"I think it will be a fine day."
He looked up in surprise. This meant something.
"You know Mr. Leivers has gone to live on a new farm. Well, he asked me
last week if I wouldn't go and see Mrs. Leivers,and I promised to bring
you on Monday if it's fine. Shall we go?"
"I say, little woman, how lovely!" he cried. "And we'll gothis
afternoon?"
Paul hurried off to the station jubilant. Down Derby Roadwas a
cherry-tree that glistened. The old brick wall by theStatutes ground
burned scarlet, spring was a very flame of green. And the steep swoop of
highroad lay, in its cool morning dust,splendid with patterns of sunshine
and shadow, perfectly still. The trees sloped their great green shoulders
proudly; and insidethe warehouse all the morning, the boy hada vision of
spring outside.
When he came home at dinner-time his mother was rather excited.
"Are we going?" he asked.
"When I'm ready," she replied.
Presently he got up.
"Go and get dressed while I wash up," he said.
She did so. He washed the pots, straightened, and then tookher boots.
They were quite clean. Mrs. Morel was one of those naturallyexquisite
people who can walk in mud without dirtying their shoes. But Paul had to
clean them for her. They were kid boots at eightshillings a pair. He,
however, thought them the most dainty bootsin the world, and he cleaned
them with as much reverence as if theyhad been flowers.
Suddenly she appeared in the inner doorway rather shyly. She had got a
new cotton blouse on. Paul jumped up and went forward.
"Oh, my stars!" he exclaimed. "What a bobby-dazzler!"
She sniffed in a little haughty way, and put her head up.
"It's not a bobby-dazzler at all!" she replied. "It's very quiet."
She walked forward, whilst he hovered round her.
"Well," she asked, quite shy, but pretending to be highand mighty, "do
you like it?"
"Awfully! You ARE a fine little woman to go jaunting out with!"
He went and surveyed her from the back.
"Well," he said, "if I was walking down the street behind you,I should
say: 'Doesn't THAT little person fancy herself!"'
"Well, she doesn't," replied Mrs. Morel. "She's not sure itsuits her."
"Oh no! she wants to be in dirty black, looking as if she waswrapped in
burnt paper. It DOES suit you, and I say you look nice."
She sniffed in her little way, pleased, but pretendingto know better.
"Well," she said, "it's cost me just three shillings. You couldn't have
got it ready-made for that price, could you?"
"I should think you couldn't," he replied.
"And, you know, it's good stuff."
"Awfully pretty," he said.
The blouse was white, with a little sprig of heliotrope and black.
"Too young for me, though, I'm afraid," she said.
"Too young for you!" he exclaimed in disgust. "Why don't youbuy some
false white hair and stick it on your head."
"I s'll soon have no need," she replied. "I'm going whitefast enough."
"Well, you've no business to," he said. "What do I wantwith a white-
haired mother?"
"I'm afraid you'll have to put up with one, my lad," she saidrather
strangely.
They set off in great style, she carrying the umbrella Williamhad given
her, because of the sun. Paul was considerably tallerthan she, though
he was not big. He fancied himself.
On the fallow land the young wheat shone silkily. Minton pitwaved its
plumes of white steam, coughed, and rattled hoarsely.
"Now look at that!" said Mrs. Morel. Mother and son stood onthe road to
watch. Along the ridge of the great pit-hill crawleda little group in
silhouette against the sky, a horse, a small truck,and a man. They
climbed the incline against the heavens. At the end the man tipped the
wagon. There was an undue rattleas the waste fell down the sheer slope
of the enormous bank.
"You sit a minute, mother," he said, and she took a seat ona bank, whilst
he sketched rapidly. She was silent whilst he worked,looking round at
the afternoon, the red cottages shining amongtheir greenness.
"The world is a wonderful place," she said, "and wonderfullybeautiful."
"And so's the pit," he said. "Look how it heaps together,like something
alive almost--a big creature that you don't know."
"Yes," she said. "Perhaps!"
"And all the trucks standing waiting, like a string of beaststo be fed,"
he said.
"And very thankful I am they ARE standing," she said,"for that means
they'll turn middling time this week."
"But I like the feel of MEN on things, while they're alive. There's a feel
of men about trucks, because they've been handledwith men's hands, all
of them."
"Yes," said Mrs. Morel.
They went along under the trees of the highroad. He wasconstantly
informing her, but she was interested. They passedthe end of Nethermere,
that was tossing its sunshine like petals lightlyin its lap. Then they
turned on a private road, and in sometrepidation approached a big farm.
A dog barked furiously. A woman came out to see.
"Is this the way to Willey Farm?" Mrs. Morel asked.
Paul hung behind in terror of being sent back. But the womanwas amiable,
and directed them. The mother and son went throughthe wheat and oats,
over a little bridge into a wild meadow. Peewits, with their white breasts
glistening, wheeled and screamedabout them. The lake was still and blue.
High overheada heron floated. Opposite, the wood heaped on the hill,
green and still.
"It's a wild road, mother," said Paul. "Just like Canada."
"Isn't it beautiful!" said Mrs. Morel, looking round.
"See that heron--see--see her legs?"
He directed his mother, what she must see and what not. And she was quite
content.
"But now," she said, "which way? He told me through the wood."
The wood, fenced and dark, lay on their left.
"I can feel a bit of a path this road," said Paul. "You've gottown feet,
somehow or other, you have."
They found a little gate, and soon were in a broad greenalley of the wood,
with a new thicket of fir and pine on one hand,an old oak glade dipping
down on the other. And among the oaksthe bluebells stood in pools of azure,
under the new green hazels,upon a pale fawn floor of oak-leaves. He found
flowers for her.
"Here's a bit of new-mown hay," he said; then, again, he broughther
forget-me-nots. And, again, his heart hurt with love, seeing her hand,used
with work, holding the little bunch of flowers he gave her. She was
perfectly happy.
But at the end of the riding was a fence to climb. Paul wasover in a
second.
"Come," he said, "let me help you."
"No, go away. I will do it in my own way."
He stood below with his hands up ready to help her. She climbed cautiously.
"What a way to climb!" he exclaimed scornfully, when shewas safely to earth
again.
"Hateful stiles!" she cried.
"Duffer of a little woman," he replied, "who can't get over 'em."
In front, along the edge of the wood, was a cluster of low redfarm buildings.
The two hastened forward. Flush with the woodwas the apple orchard, where
blossom was falling on the grindstone. The pond was deep under a hedge
and overhanging oak trees. Some cows stood in the shade. The farm and
buildings, three sidesof a quadrangle, embraced the sunshine towards the
wood. It wasvery still.
Mother and son went into the small railed garden, where wasa scent of red
gillivers. By the open door were some floury loaves,put out to cool. A
hen was just coming to peck them. Then, in thedoorway suddenly appeared
a girl in a dirty apron. She was aboutfourteen years old, had a rosy dark
face, a bunch of short black curls,very fine and free, and dark eyes; shy,
questioning, a littleresentful of the strangers, she disappeared. In a
minute anotherfigure appeared, a small, frail woman, rosy, with great dark
brown eyes.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, smiling with a little glow, "you've come,then. I
AM glad to see you." Her voice was intimate and rather sad.
The two women shook hands.
"Now are you sure we're not a bother to you?" said Mrs. Morel. "I know
what a farming life is."
"Oh no! We're only too thankful to see a new face, it's solost up here."
"I suppose so," said Mrs. Morel.
They were taken through into the parlour--a long, low room,with a great
bunch of guelder-roses in the fireplace. There thewomen talked, whilst
Paul went out to survey the land. He wasin the garden smelling the
gillivers and looking at the plants,when the girl came out quickly to the
heap of coal which stoodby the fence.
"I suppose these are cabbage-roses?" he said to her,pointing to the bushes
along the fence.
She looked at him with startled, big brown eyes.
"I suppose they are cabbage-roses when they come out?"he said.
"I don't know," she faltered. "They're white with pink middles."
"Then they're maiden-blush."
Miriam flushed. She had a beautiful warm colouring.
"I don't know," she said.
"You don't have MUCH in your garden," he said.
"This is our first year here," she answered, in a distant,rather superior
way, drawing back and going indoors. He did not notice,but went his round
of exploration. Presently his mother came out,and they went through the
buildings. Paul was hugely delighted.
"And I suppose you have the fowls and calves and pigsto look after?" said
Mrs. Morel to Mrs. Leivers.
"No," replied the little woman. "I can't find time to lookafter cattle,
and I'm not used to it. It's as much as I cando to keep going in the house."
"Well, I suppose it is," said Mrs. Morel.
Presently the girl came out.
"Tea is ready, mother," she said in a musical, quiet voice.
"Oh, thank you, Miriam, then we'll come," replied her mother,almost
ingratiatingly. "Would you CARE to have tea now, Mrs. Morel?"
"Of course," said Mrs. Morel. "Whenever it's ready."
Paul and his mother and Mrs. Leivers had tea together. Then they went out
into the wood that was flooded with bluebells,while fumy forget-me-nots
were in the paths. The mother and son werein ecstasy together.
When they got back to the house, Mr. Leivers and Edgar,the eldest son,
were in the kitchen. Edgar was about eighteen. Then Geoffrey and Maurice,
big lads of twelve and thirteen, were infrom school. Mr. Leivers was a
good-looking man in the prime of life,with a golden-brown moustache, and
blue eyes screwed up againstthe weather.
The boys were condescending, but Paul scarcely observed it. They went
round for eggs, scrambling into all sorts of places. As they were feeding
the fowls Miriam came out. The boys took nonotice of her. One hen, with
her yellow chickens, was in a coop. Maurice took his hand full of corn
and let the hen peck from it.
"Durst you do it?" he asked of Paul.
"Let's see," said Paul.
He had a small hand, warm, and rather capable-looking.Miriam watched. He
held the corn to the hen. The bird eyed it with herhard, bright eye, and
suddenly made a peck into his hand. He started,and laughed. "Rap, rap,
rap!" went the bird's beak in his palm. He laughed again, and the other
boys joined.
"She knocks you, and nips you, but she never hurts," said Paul,when the
last corn had gone. " Now, Miriam," said Maurice, "you comean 'ave a go."
"No," she cried, shrinking back.
"Ha! baby. The mardy-kid!" said her brothers.
"It doesn't hurt a bit," said Paul. "It only just nipsrather nicely."
"No," she still cried, shaking her black curls and shrinking.
"She dursn't," said Geoffrey. "She niver durst do anythingexcept recite
poitry."
"Dursn't jump off a gate, dursn't tweedle, dursn't go on a slide,dursn't
stop a girl hittin' her. She can do nowt but go about thinkin'herself
somebody. 'The Lady of the Lake.' Yah!" cried Maurice.
Miriam was crimson with shame and misery.
"I dare do more than you," she cried. "You're never anythingbut cowards
and bullies."
"Oh, cowards and bullies!" they repeated mincingly,mocking her speech.
"Not such a clown shall anger me, A boor is answered silently,"
he quoted against her, shouting with laughter.
She went indoors. Paul went with the boys into the orchard,where they
had rigged up a parallel bar. They did feats of strength. He was more
agile than strong, but it served. He fingered a pieceof apple-blossom
that hung low on a swinging bough.
"I wouldn't get the apple-blossom," said Edgar, the eldest brother.
"There'll be no apples next year."
"I wasn't going to get it," replied Paul, going away.
The boys felt hostile to him; they were more interested in theirown
pursuits. He wandered back to the house to look for his mother. As he
went round the back, he saw Miriam kneeling in front of thehen-coop, some
maize in her hand, biting her lip, and crouchingin an intense attitude.
The hen was eyeing her wickedly.Very gingerly she put forward her hand.
The hen bobbed for her.She drew back quickly with a cry, half of fear,
half of chagrin.
"It won't hurt you," said Paul.
She flushed crimson and started up.
"I only wanted to try," she said in a low voice.
"See, it doesn't hurt," he said, and, putting only two cornsin his palm,
he let the hen peck, peck, peck at his bare hand. "It only makes you laugh,"
he said.
She put her hand forward and dragged it away, tried again,and started back
with a cry. He frowned.
"Why, I'd let her take corn from my face," said Paul,"only she bumps a
bit. She's ever so neat. If she wasn't, lookhow much ground she'd peck
up every day."
He waited grimly, and watched. At last Miriam let the birdpeck from her
hand. She gave a little cry--fear, and pain becauseof fear--rather
pathetic. But she had done it, and she did it again.
"There, you see," said the boy. "It doesn't hurt, does it?"
She looked at him with dilated dark eyes.
"No," she laughed, trembling.
Then she rose and went indoors. She seemed to be in some wayresentful
of the boy.
"He thinks I'm only a common girl," she thought, and she wantedto prove
she was a grand person like the "Lady of the Lake".
Paul found his mother ready to go home. She smiled on her son. He took
the great bunch of flowers. Mr. and Mrs. Leivers walkeddown the fields
with them. The hills were golden with evening;deep in the woods showed
the darkening purple of bluebells. It was everywhere perfectly stiff, save
for the rustling of leavesand birds.
"But it is a beautiful place," said Mrs. Morel.
"Yes," answered Mr. Leivers; "it's a nice little place, if onlyit weren't
for the rabbits. The pasture's bitten down to nothing. I dunno if ever
I s'll get the rent off it."
He clapped his hands, and the field broke into motion nearthe woods, brown
rabbits hopping everywhere.
"Would you believe it!" exclaimed Mrs. Morel.
She and Paul went on alone together.
"Wasn't it lovely, mother?" he said quietly.
A thin moon was coming out. His heart was full of happinesstill it hurt.
His mother had to chatter, because she, too,wanted to cry with happiness.
"Now WOULDN'T I help that man!" she said. "WOULDN'T I seeto the fowls
and the young stock! And I'D learn to milk, and I'Dtalk with him, and
I'D plan with him. My word, if I were his wife,the farm would be run,
I know! But there, she hasn't the strength--shesimply hasn't the
strength. She ought never to have been burdenedlike it, you know. I'm
sorry for her, and I'm sorry for him too. My word, if I'D had him, I
shouldn't have thought him a bad husband! Not that she does either; and
she's very lovable."
William came home again with his sweetheart at the Whitsuntide. He had
one week of his holidays then. It was beautiful weather. As a rule,
William and Lily and Paul went out in the morning togetherfor a walk.
William did not talk to his beloved much, except to tellher things from
his boyhood. Paul talked endlessly to both of them. They lay down, all
three, in a meadow by Minton Church. On one side,by the Castle Farm, was
a beautiful quivering screen of poplars. Hawthorn was dropping from the
hedges; penny daisies and raggedrobin were in the field, like laughter.
William, a big fellowof twenty-three, thinner now and even a bit gaunt,
lay backin the sunshine and dreamed, while she fingered with his hair.
Paul went gathering the big daisies. She had taken off her hat;her hair
was black as a horse's mane. Paul came back and threadeddaisies in her
jet-black hair--big spangles of white and yellow, and justa pink touch
of ragged robin.
"Now you look like a young witch-woman," the boy said to her. "Doesn't
she, William?"
Lily laughed. William opened his eyes and looked at her. In his gaze was
a certain baffled look of misery and fierce appreciation.
"Has he made a sight of me?" she asked, laughing down onher lover.
"That he has!" said William, smiling.
He looked at her. Her beauty seemed to hurt him. He glancedat her
flower-decked head and frowned.
"You look nice enough, if that's what you want to know,"he said.
And she walked without her hat. In a little while Williamrecovered, and
was rather tender to her. Coming to a bridge,he carved her initials and
his in a heart.
L. L. W. W. M.
She watched his strong, nervous hand, with its glisteninghairs and
freckles, as he carved, and she seemed fascinated by it.
All the time there was a feeling of sadness and warmth,and a certain
tenderness in the house, whilst William and Lilywere at home. But often
he got irritable. She had brought,for an eight-days' stay, five dresses
and six blouses.
"Oh, would you mind," she said to Annie, "washing me thesetwo blouses,
and these things?"
And Annie stood washing when William and Lily went out thenext morning.
Mrs. Morel was furious. And sometimes the young man,catching a glimpse
of his sweetheart's attitude towards his sister,hated her.
On Sunday morning she looked very beautiful in a dressof foulard, silky
and sweeping, and blue as a jay-bird's feather,and in a large cream hat
covered with many roses, mostly crimson. Nobody could admire her enough.
But in the evening, when she wasgoing out, she asked again:
"Chubby, have you got my gloves?"
"Which?" asked William.
"My new black SUEDE."
"No."
There was a hunt. She had lost them.
"Look here, mother," said William, "that's the fourth pairshe's lost since
Christmas--at five shillings a pair!"
"You only gave me TWO of them," she remonstrated.
And in the evening, after supper, he stood on the hearthrugwhilst she sat
on the sofa, and he seemed to hate her. In theafternoon he had left her
whilst he went to see some old friend. She had sat looking at a book. After
supper William wanted to writea letter.
"Here is your book, Lily," said Mrs. Morel. "Would you careto go on with
it for a few minutes?"
"No, thank you," said the girl. "I will sit still."
"But it is so dull."
William scribbled irritably at a great rate. As he sealedthe envelope
he said:
"Read a book! Why, she's never read a book in her life."
"Oh, go along!" said Mrs. Morel, cross with the exaggeration,
"It's true, mother--she hasn't," he cried, jumping up and takinghis old
position on the hearthrug. "She's never read a book in her life."
"'Er's like me," chimed in Morel. "'Er canna see what thereis i' books,
ter sit borin' your nose in 'em for, nor more can I."
"But you shouldn't say these things," said Mrs. Morel to her son.
"But it's true, mother--she CAN'T read. What did you give her?"
"Well, I gave her a little thing of Annie Swan's. Nobody wantsto read dry
stuff on Sunday afternoon."
"Well, I'll bet she didn't read ten lines of it."
"You are mistaken," said his mother.
All the time Lily sat miserably on the sofa. He turnedto her swiftly.
"DID you ready any?" he asked.
"Yes, I did," she replied.
"How much?"
"l don't know how many pages."
"Tell me ONE THING you read."
She could not.
She never got beyond the second page. He read a great deal,and had a quick,
active intelligence. She could understand nothing butlove-making and
chatter. He was accustomed to having all his thoughtssifted through his
mother's mind; so, when he wanted companionship,and was asked in reply
to be the billing and twittering lover,he hated his betrothed.
"You know, mother," he said, when he was alone with her at night,"she's
no idea of money, she's so wessel-brained. When she's paid,she'll suddenly
buy such rot as marrons glaces, and then I haveto buy her season ticket,
and her extras, even her underclothing. And she wants to get married, and
I think myself we might as well getmarried next year. But at this rate---"
"A fine mess of a marriage it would be," replied his mother. "I should
consider it again, my boy."
"Oh, well, I've gone too far to break off now," he said,"and so I shall
get married as soon as I can."
"Very well, my boy. If you will, you will, and there's nostopping you;
but I tell you, I can't sleep when I think about it."
"Oh, she'll be all right, mother. We shall manage."
"And she lets you buy her underclothing?" asked the mother.
"Well," he began apologetically, "she didn't ask me; but onemorning--
and it WAS cold--I found her on the station shivering, not ableto keep
still; so I asked her if she was well wrapped up. She said: 'I think so.'
So I said: 'Have you got warm underthings on?' And she said: 'No, they
were cotton.' I asked her why on earth shehadn't got something thicker
on in weather like that, and she saidbecause she HAD nothing. And there
she is--a bronchial subject! I HAD to take her and get some warm things.
Well, mother, I shouldn'tmind the money if we had any. And, you know,
she OUGHT to keep enoughto pay for her season-ticket; but no, she comes
to me about that,and I have to find the money."
"It's a poor lookout," said Mrs. Morel bitterly.
He was pale, and his rugged face, that used to be so perfectlycareless
and laughing, was stamped with conflict and despair.
"But I can't give her up now; it's gone too far," he said. "And, besides,
for SOME things I couldn't do without her."
"My boy, remember you're taking your life in your hands,"said Mrs. Morel.
"NOTHING is as bad as a marriage that'sa hopeless failure. Mine was bad
enough, God knows, and oughtto teach you something; but it might have been
worse by a long chalk."
He leaned with his back against the side of the chimney-piece,his hands
in his pockets. He was a big, raw-boned man, who lookedas if he would
go to the world's end if he wanted to. But she sawthe despair on his face.
"I couldn't give her up now," he said.
"Well," she said, "remember there are worse wrongs than breakingoff an
engagement."
"I can't give her up NOW," he said.
The clock ticked on; mother and son remained in silence,a conflict between
them; but he would say no more. At last she said:
"Well, go to bed, my son. You'll feel better in the morning,and perhaps
you'll know better."
He kissed her, and went. She raked the fire. Her heartwas heavy now as
it had never been. Before, with her husband,things had seemed to be
breaking down in her, but they did notdestroy her power to live. Now her
soul felt lamed in itself. It was her hope that was struck.
And so often William manifested the same hatred towardshis betrothed. On
the last evening at home he was railing against her.
"Well," he said, "if you don't believe me, what she's like,would you
believe she has been confirmed three times?"
"Nonsense!" laughed Mrs. Morel.
"Nonsense or not, she HAS! That's what confirmation meansfor her--a bit
of a theatrical show where she can cut a figure."
"I haven't, Mrs. Morel!" cried the girl--"I haven't! itis not true!"
"What!" he cried, flashing round on her. "Once in Bromley,once in
Beckenham, and once somewhere else."
"Nowhere else!" she said, in tears--"nowhere else!"
"It WAS! And if it wasn't why were you confirmed TWICE?"
"Once I was only fourteen, Mrs. Morel," she pleaded,tears in her eyes.
"Yes," said Mrs. Morel; "I can quite understand it, child. Take nonotice
of him. You ought to be ashamed, William, saying such things."
"But it's true. She's religious--she had blue velvetPrayer-Books--and
she's not as much religion, or anything else,in her than that table-leg.
Gets confirmed three times for show,to show herself off, and that's how
she is in EVERYTHING--EVERYTHING!"
The girl sat on the sofa, crying. She was not strong.
"As for LOVE!" he cried, "you might as well ask a fly to love you! It'll
love settling on you---"
"Now, say no more," commanded Mrs. Morel. "If you wantto say these things,
you must find another place than this. I am ashamed of you, William! Why
don't you be more manly. To do nothing but find fault with a girl, and
then pretend you'reengaged to her! "
Mrs. Morel subsided in wrath and indignation.
William was silent, and later he repented, kissed and comfortedthe girl.
Yet it was true, what he had said. He hated her.
When they were going away, Mrs. Morel accompanied them as faras Nottingham.
It was a long way to Keston station.
"You know, mother," he said to her, "Gyp's shallow. Nothing goes deep with
her."
"William, I WISH you wouldn't say these things," said Mrs. Morel,very
uncomfortable for the girl who walked beside her.
"But it doesn't, mother. She's very much in love with me now,but if I
died she'd have forgotten me in three months."
Mrs. Morel was afraid. Her heart beat furiously, hearing thequiet
bitterness of her son's last speech.
"How do you know?" she replied. "You DON'T know, and thereforeyou've no
right to say such a thing."
"He's always saying these things!" cried the girl.
"In three months after I was buried you'd have somebody else,and I should
be forgotten," he said. "And that's your love!"
Mrs. Morel saw them into the train in Nottingham, then shereturned home.
"There's one comfort," she said to Paul--"he'll never have anymoney to
marry on, that I AM sure of. And so she'll save him that way."
So she took cheer. Matters were not yet very desperate. She firmly
believed William would never marry his Gipsy. She waited,and she kept
Paul near to her.
All summer long William's letters had a feverish tone; he seemedunnatural
and intense. Sometimes he was exaggeratedly jolly,usually he was flat
and bitter in his letter.
"Ah," his mother said, "I'm afraid he's ruining himselfagainst that
creature, who isn't worthy of his love--no, no morethan a rag doll."
He wanted to come home. The midsummer holiday was gone;it was a long while
to Christmas. He wrote in wild excitement,saying he could come for
Saturday and Sunday at Goose Fair, the firstweek in October.
"You are not well, my boy," said his mother, when she saw him. She was
almost in tears at having him to herself again.
"No, I've not been well," he said. "I've seemed to havea dragging cold
all the last month, but it's going, I think."
It was sunny October weather. He seemed wild with joy,like a schoolboy
escaped; then again he was silent and reserved. He was more gaunt than
ever, and there was a haggard look in his eyes.
"You are doing too much," said his mother to him.
He was doing extra work, trying to make some money to marry on,he said.
He only talked to his mother once on the Saturday night;then he was sad
and tender about his beloved.
"And yet, you know, mother, for all that, if I died she'd bebroken-hearted
for two months, and then she'd start to forget me. You'd see, she'd never
come home here to look at my grave,not even once."
"Why, William," said his mother, "you're not going to die,so why talk about
it?"
"But whether or not---" he replied.
"And she can't help it. She is like that, and if you chooseher--well,
you can't grumble," said his mother.
On the Sunday morning, as he was putting his collar on:
"Look," he said to his mother, holding up his chin, "what arash my collar's
made under my chin!"
Just at the junction of chin and throat was a big red inflammation.
"It ought not to do that," said his mother. "Here, put a bitof this
soothing ointment on. You should wear different collars."
He went away on Sunday midnight, seeming better and more solidfor his two
days at home.
On Tuesday morning came a telegram from London that he was ill. Mrs. Morel
got off her knees from washing the floor, read the telegram,called a
neighbour, went to her landlady and borrowed a sovereign,put on her things,
and set off. She hurried to Keston, caught anexpress for London in
Nottingham. She had to wait in Nottinghamnearly an hour. A small figure
in her black bonnet, she wasanxiously asking the porters if they knew how
to get to Elmers End. The journey was three hours. She sat in her corner
in a kind of stupor,never moving. At King's Cross still no one could tell
her howto get to Elmers End. Carrying her string bag, that containedher
nightdress, a comb and brush, she went from person to person. At last they
sent her underground to Cannon Street.
It was six o'clock when she arrived at William's lodging. The blinds were
not down.
"How is he?" she asked.
"No better," said the landlady.
She followed the woman upstairs. William lay on the bed,with bloodshot
eyes, his face rather discoloured. The clothes weretossed about, there
was no fire in the room, a glass of milk stoodon the stand at his bedside.
No one had been with him.
"Why, my son!" said the mother bravely.
He did not answer. He looked at her, but did not see her. Then he began
to say, in a dull voice, as if repeating a letterfrom dictation: "Owing
to a leakage in the hold of this vessel,the sugar had set, and become
converted into rock. It needed hacking---"
He was quite unconscious. It had been his business to examinesome such
cargo of sugar in the Port of London.
"How long has he been like this?" the mother asked the landlady.
"He got home at six o'clock on Monday morning, and he seemedto sleep all
day; then in the night we heard him talking, and thismorning he asked for
you. So I wired, and we fetched the doctor."
"Will you have a fire made?"
Mrs. Morel tried to soothe her son, to keep him still.
The doctor came. It was pneumonia, and, he said, a peculiarerysipelas,
which had started under the chin where the collar chafed,and was spreading
over the face. He hoped it would not get to the brain.
Mrs. Morel settled down to nurse. She prayed for William,prayed that he
would recognise her. But the young man's face grewmore discoloured. In
the night she struggled with him. He raved,and raved, and would not come
to consciousness. At two o'clock,in a dreadful paroxysm, he died.
Mrs. Morel sat perfectly still for an hour in the lodging bedroom;then
she roused the household.
At six o'clock, with the aid of the charwoman, she laid him out;then she
went round the dreary London village to the registrarand the doctor.
At nine o'clock to the cottage on Scargill Street cameanother wire:
"William died last night. Let father come, bring money."
Annie, Paul, and Arthur were at home; Mr. Morel was goneto work. The three
children said not a word. Annie began to whimperwith fear; Paul set off
for his father.
It was a beautiful day. At Brinsley pit the white steam meltedslowly in
the sunshine of a soft blue sky; the wheels of the headstockstwinkled high
up; the screen, shuffling its coal into the trucks,made a busy noise.
"I want my father; he's got to go to London," said the boyto the first
man he met on the bank.
"Tha wants Walter Morel? Go in theer an' tell Joe Ward."
Paul went into the little top office.
"I want my father; he's got to go to London."
"Thy feyther? Is he down? What's his name?"
"Mr. Morel."
"What, Walter? Is owt amiss?"
"He's got to go to London."
The man went to the telephone and rang up the bottom office.
"Walter Morel's wanted, number 42, Hard. Summat's amiss;there's his lad
here."
Then he turned round to Paul.
"He'll be up in a few minutes," he said.
Paul wandered out to the pit-top. He watched the chair come up,with its
wagon of coal. The great iron cage sank back on its rest,a full carfle
was hauled off, an empty tram run on to the chair,a bell ting'ed somewhere,
the chair heaved, then dropped likea stone.
Paul did not realise William was dead; it was impossible,with such a bustle
going on. The puller-off swung the small truckon to the turn-table,
another man ran with it along the bank downthe curving lines.
"And William is dead, and my mother's in London, and what willshe be
doing?" the boy asked himself, as if it were a conundrum.
He watched chair after chair come up, and still no father. At last,
standing beside a wagon, a man's form! the chair sank onits rests, Morel
stepped off. He was slightly lame from an accident.
"Is it thee, Paul? Is 'e worse?"
"You've got to go to London."
The two walked off the pit-bank, where men were watching curiously. As
they came out and went along the railway, with thesunny autumn field on
one side and a wall of trucks on the other, Morel said in a frightened
voice:
"'E's niver gone, child?"
"Yes."
"When wor't?"
"Last night. We had a telegram from my mother."
Morel walked on a few strides, then leaned up againsta truck-side, his
hand over his eyes. He was not crying. Paul stood looking round, waiting.
On the weighingmachine a truck trundled slowly. Paul saw
everything,except his father leaning against the truck as if he were
tired.
Morel had only once before been to London. He set off,scared and peaked,
to help his wife. That was on Tuesday. The children were left alone in
the house. Paul went to work,Arthur went to school, and Annie had in a
friend to be with her.
On Saturday night, as Paul was turning the corner, coming homefrom Keston,
he saw his mother and father, who had come to SethleyBridge Station. They
were walking in silence in the dark, tired,straggling apart. The boy
waited.
"Mother!" he said, in the darkness.
Mrs. Morel's small figure seemed not to observe. He spoke again.
"Paul!" she said, uninterestedly.
She let him kiss her, but she seemed unaware of him.
In the house she was the same--small, white, and mute. She noticed nothing,
she said nothing, only:
"The coffin will be here to-night, Walter. You'd better seeabout some
help." Then, turning to the children: "We're bringinghim home."
Then she relapsed into the same mute looking into space,her hands folded
on her lap. Paul, looking at her, felt he couldnot breathe. The house
was dead silent.
"I went to work, mother," he said plaintively.
"Did you?" she answered, dully.
After half an hour Morel, troubled and bewildered, came in again.
"Wheer s'll we ha'e him when he DOEScome?" he asked his wife.
"In the front-room."
"Then I'd better shift th' table?"
"Yes."
"An' ha'e him across th' chairs?"
"You know there---Yes, I suppose so."
Morel and Paul went, with a candle, into the parlour. There was no gas
there. The father unscrewed the top of the bigmahogany oval table, and
cleared the middle of the room; then hearranged six chairs opposite each
other, so that the coffin couldstand on their beds.
"You niver seed such a length as he is!" said the miner,and watching
anxiously as he worked.
Paul went to the bay window and looked out. The ash-treestood monstrous
and black in front of the wide darkness. It was a faintly luminous night.
Paul went back to his mother.
At ten o'clock Morel called:
"He's here!"
Everyone started. There was a noise of unbarring and unlockingthe front
door, which opened straight from the night into the room.
"Bring another candle," called Morel.
Annie and Arthur went. Paul followed with his mother. He stood with his
arm round her waist in the inner doorway. Down the middle of the cleared
room waited six chairs, face to face. In the window, against the lace
curtains, Arthur held up one candle,and by the open door, against the night,
Annie stood leaning forward,her brass candlestick glittering.
There was the noise of wheels. Outside in the darkness of thestreet below
Paul could see horses and a black vehicle, one lamp,and a few pale faces;
then some men, miners, all in their shirt-sleeves,seemed to struggle in
the obscurity. Presently two men appeared,bowed beneath a great weight.
It was Morel and his neighbour.
"Steady!" called Morel, out of breath.
He and his fellow mounted the steep garden step, heaved intothe
candlelight with their gleaming coffin-end. Limbs of other menwere seen
struggling behind. Morel and Burns, in front, staggered;the great dark
weight swayed.
"Steady, steady!" cried Morel, as if in pain.
All the six bearers were up in the small garden, holding thegreat coffin
aloft. There were three more steps to the door.The yellow lamp of the
carriage shone alonedown the black road.
"Now then!" said Morel.
The coffin swayed, the men began to mount the three stepswith their load.
Annie's candle flickered, and she whimperedas the first men appeared, and
the limbs and bowed heads of sixmen struggled to climb into the room,
bearing the coffin that rodelike sorrow on their living flesh.
"Oh, my son--my son!" Mrs. Morel sang softly, and each timethe coffin
swung to the unequal climbing of the men: "Oh, my son--myson--my son!"
"Mother!" Paul whimpered, his hand round her waist.
She did not hear.
"Oh, my son--my son!" she repeated.
Paul saw drops of sweat fall from his father's brow. Six men were in the
room--six coatless men, with yielding,struggling limbs, filling the room
and knocking against the furniture. The coffin veered, and was gently
lowered on to the chairs. The sweat fell from Morel's face on its boards.
"My word, he's a weight!" said a man, and the five miners sighed,bowed,
and, trembling with the struggle, descended the steps again,closing the
door behind them.
The family was alone in the parlour with the great polished box. William,
when laid out, was six feet four inches long. Like a monumentlay the
bright brown, ponderous coffin. Paul thought it would neverbe got out
of the room again. His mother was stroking the polished wood.
They buried him on the Monday in the little cemetery on thehillside that
looks over the fields at the big church and the houses. It was sunny, and
the white chrysanthemums frilled themselvesin the warmth.
Mrs. Morel could not be persuaded, after this, to talk andtake her old
bright interest in life. She remained shut off. All the way home in the
train she had said to herself : "If only itcould have been me! "
When Paul came home at night he found his mother sitting,her day's work
done, with hands folded in her lap upon hercoarse apron. She always used
to have changed her dress and puton a black apron, before. Now Annie set
his supper, and his mothersat looking blankly in front of her, her mouth
shut tight. Then he beat his brains for news to tell her.
"Mother, Miss Jordan was down to-day, and she said my sketchof a colliery
at work was beautiful."
But Mrs. Morel took no notice. Night after night he forcedhimself to tell
her things, although she did not listen. It drovehim almost insane to
have her thus. At last:
"What's a-matter, mother?" he asked.
She did not hear.
"What's a-matter?" he persisted. "Mother, what's a-matter?"
"You know what's the matter," she said irritably, turning away.
The lad--he was sixteen years old--went to bed drearily. He was cut off
and wretched through October, November and December. His mother tried,
but she could not rouse herself. She could onlybrood on her dead son;
he had been let to die so cruelly.
At last, on December 23, with his five shillings Christmas-boxin his
pocket, Paul wandered blindly home. His mother looked at him,and her
heart stood still.
"What's the matter?" she asked.
"I'm badly, mother!" he replied. "Mr. Jordan gave me fiveshillings for
a Christmas-box!"
He handed it to her with trembling hands. She put it on the table.
"You aren't glad!" he reproached her; but he trembled violently.
"Where hurts you?" she said, unbuttoning his overcoat.
It was the old question.
"I feel badly, mother."
She undressed him and put him to bed. He had pneumonia dangerously,the
doctor said.
"Might he never have had it if I'd kept him at home, not lethim go to
Nottingham?" was one of the first things she asked.
"He might not have been so bad," said the doctor.
Mrs. Morel stood condemned on her own ground.
"I should have watched the living, not the dead," she told herself.
Paul was very ill. His mother lay in bed at nights with him;they could
not afford a nurse. He grew worse, and the crisis approached. One night
he tossed into consciousness in the ghastly, sickly feelingof dissolution,
when all the cells in the body seem in intenseirritability to be breaking
down, and consciousness makes a lastflare of struggle, like madness.
"I s'll die, mother!" be cried, heaving for breath on the pillow.
She lifted him up, crying in a small voice:
"Oh, my son--my son!"
That brought him to. He realised her. His whole will roseup and arrested
him. He put his head on her breast, and took easeof her for love.
"For some things," said his aunt, "it was a good thing Paulwas ill that
Christmas. I believe it saved his mother."
Paul was in bed for seven weeks. He got up white and fragile. His father
had bought him a pot of scarlet and gold tulips. They used to flame in
the window in the March sunshine as he saton the sofa chattering to his
mother. The two knitted together inperfect intimacy. Mrs. Morel's life
now rooted itself in Paul.
William had been a prophet. Mrs. Morel had a little presentand a letter
from Lily at Christmas. Mrs. Morel's sister hada letter at the New Year.
"I was at a ball last night. Some delightful people were there,and I
enjoyed myself thoroughly," said the letter. "I had everydance--did not
sit out one."
Mrs. Morel never heard any more of her.
Morel and his wife were gentle with each other for some timeafter the death
of their son. He would go into a kind of daze,staring wide-eyed and blank
across the room. Then he got up suddenlyand hurried out to the Three Spots,
returning in his normal state. But never in his life would he go for a
walk up Shepstone,past the office where his son had worked, and he always
avoidedthe cemetery.
--
※ 来源:.紫 丁 香 bbs.hit.edu.cn.[FROM: heart.hit.edu.cn]
Powered by KBS BBS 2.0 (http://dev.kcn.cn)
页面执行时间:617.767毫秒