English 版 (精华区)
发信人: Systems (Matrix Analysis), 信区: English
标 题: Reading Material 4
发信站: 哈工大紫丁香 (2003年02月22日11:36:28 星期六), 站内信件
Difficult Words:
creepy adj. very frightening
verge v. to be very near to
smaram v. to try to win favour by flattery
chap n. a young man
plosive n. sound caused by something breaking
trill v. to make vibrating or shaking sound with high frequency
putrid adj. corruptive
repertoire n. all the skills, the capabilities, the preformances
gradation n. classification, rank
confide v. to tell something, to trust
wit n. wisdom
devise v. to invent
abashed adj. embarrassed
chastened adj. of making someone realise his wrong behaivour
downright adj. frank; adv. completely
mortify v. to feel very embarrassed
swiftly adv. quickly
declaim v. to make a speech loudly, to read out
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Comment: In this essay, the author criticised the railway service in Britian
seriously in a fairly ironical tone. Main points are foucsed on train-delaying,
and furthermore, those private companies who carry on this business and are
ignorant to passengers. In Britain, railway service is a big castigate in
recent years due to aging railway facilities and very old trains. However,
the Government has put 50m pounds into a project changing the status quo.
***********************************************
Trains in a sorry state
David Mckie
Thursday February 20, 2003
The Guardian
Some time ago in this space I wrote about Mr Concerned, the creepy character
whose recorded Home Counties voice is nowadays used to inform you, everywhe
re from Bodmin to Berwick, that your train is running late. Well, now there
are two of them at it. He's been joined by a female counterpart. Or perhaps
she was there all along, but one noticed him more because he was so much pus
hier.
At any rate, they now work as a pair: the Alagna and Gheorghiu of railway de
lay. He is confident, authoritative, verging on bossy. If the smarmed-down c
haps in the old Brylcreem ads could have spoken, this is how they'd have sou
nded. It usually seems to be the male on the team who asks, "may I have your
attention?" before lecturing us on not leaving bags unattended. She is pure
syrup. Note how she softens the plosives in the names of the stations where
the train is destined to go if it eventually comes, or contrives to make ev
en Balham sound sensitive.
When it comes to expressing her sorrow, which she seems to be doing most of
the time, she does so with such apparent emotion that one almost tastes the
recorded tear in her recorded eye. She is, I guess, a direct descendant of t
he girl in the plastic 45rpm records they used to put through the door years
ago advertising some kind of cherryade. "Cherrybee, Cherrybee, Cherrybee,"
her predecessor would trill, "it's the sparkling drink for you and me!" unti
l she got thrown in the dustbin.
As the railways settle into a condition which might be described as "continu
ing putrid", I have come to think of this couple as the Sorry Twins. Their r
epertoire, though, is confusing. There seems to be a gradation where a delay
of five or 10 minutes makes them feel "sorry", while a longer hold-up quali
fies for a "very sorry".
And yet one chilly evening on a south London station this week awaiting the
late-running train to Dorking, I noticed a curious lack of logic in the twin
s' proceedings. On platform two, he was telling us how sorry he was that our
train from Victoria was running 10 minutes late for reasons he did not spec
ify. As he did so, you could hear her on platform one being "very sorry" abo
ut a delay on a London-bound train that was now creeping up towards 20 minut
es - due, she confided, to "a signal problem at". (Presumably the name of th
e place where the signal was giving trouble should have been summoned up at
this point; but perhaps it was running late.) Over on platform three, howeve
r, one could also hear her reporting that the 18.50 to London was cancelled
because of a temporary shortage of train crew. And yet here she was only "so
rry".
If an 18-minute delay is worth a "very sorry", a whole cancellation is surel
y worth more than that. It should not be beyond the wit of whoever devised t
his performance to introduce more sensitive gradations. Up to 10 minutes: "I
'm sorry to have to inform you ..." Up to 20: "I'm very sorry to have to inf
orm you ..." Up to 30, or a cancellation: "I am not inconsiderably abashed t
o have to admit ..." At 40: "I am deeply embarrassed and chastened to have t
o confess ..." At 50: "I am downright mortified..." And at 60: "What can I s
ay? Mea culpa; mea maxima culpa. My colleagues and I have failed you again.
My recorded head is hanging in shame ..."
I long ago found myself answering back to some of the Sorry Twins' commentar
y. The announcement that riles me most is the one employed when trouble occu
rs on the tube. "London Underground have informed me ..." he says, but of co
urse as I swiftly remind him that must be a lie, since he doesn't exist.
I am glad to see that other people are answering back as well. One reaches t
he point where what the Sorry Twins say cries out for some kind of challenge
. Take that "temporary shortage of train crew". "What does 'temporary' mean
in that sentence?" I ask of the twins. "Could it be that somewhere else in y
our repertoire there's a message which refers to a permanent shortage of tra
in crew. As in: 'Because of a permanent shortage of train crew, we're scrapp
ing this service (disservice, more like) for good?' "
All of this, I suppose, is ungrateful, in that poor old British Rail - which
we never loved much when it was running, though of course we do now in retr
ospect having seen its replacement - hardly ever got round to telling us whe
n our trains were coming or, more to the point, not coming. In this sense, w
e may one day come to accept that inventing the Sorry Twins was about the be
st thing the privatised railway did.
I look forward now to the day when he (it is bound to be him, since he's so
much the senior party) will declaim to the chilled congregation on Sutton st
ation: "I am sorry - no, very sorry - to have to announce that in view of th
e state of the service, there will from now on be no trains at all - only ap
ologies." It cannot be far away.
--
We are angles with but one wing.
To fly we must embrace each other.
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