English 版 (精华区)
发信人: oceann (dany), 信区: English
标 题: [好文共赏]Leaf’s departure[转载]
发信站: 哈工大紫丁香 (Sun Oct 19 22:23:46 2003), 站内信件
Leaf’s departure is because of Wind’s pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask h
er to stay~
Tree
The reason I’m called tree is because I’m good at painting trees.
Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a
trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was
in Pre-U. There’s one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She d
oesn’t have a pretty face, doesn’t have a good figure, doesn’t have outstan
ding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like
her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going a
fter her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match f
or me. I’m also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will
vanish. I’m also afraid other’s gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she’s
my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don’t have to give up everything jus
t for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me ch
ase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I’m a very demanding director. When I
kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile &
say “Go on!“ before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a w
alnut. I purposely didn’t want to think about what causes her to cry but laug
h at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in t
he classroom. She didn’t know that I returned from soccer training to get som
ething. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn’t like her. There was once when both of them quarr
eled. I know that based on her character she’s not the type that will start o
ff the quarrel. But I still sided with my
girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I
didn’t care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.
The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happene
d. I know that she’s very hurt but she didn’t know that my heart ache is as
bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out f
or a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coinc
identally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and
she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been goin
g after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and
interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.
I can’t show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. W
hen I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can’t stand it. It’s li
ke a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn’t breath. Wanted to shout but
can’t. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen he
r cry for the man that doesn’t acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I b
roke down and cry. I haven’t read it since then. It says “Leaf departure is
because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay“
Leaf
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt
that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so
long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very
close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1s
t girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The so
urness in the heart can’t be describe by using a lemon. It’s like 100 rotten
sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths
. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he
got together with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me. But why won’t he pursue me? Since he love
me why he doesn’t want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfri
end, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspe
ct that this is a one sided love. If he don’t like he, why does he treat me s
o well. It’s beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person i
s very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings tow
ards me I can never figure out. You can’t expect me a gal to ask him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him,
accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me.
It’s like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms
. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of t
his, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really w
ant to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hu
rt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.
Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after
me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a poin
t in time when I felt that I’m willing to let him have a small footing in my
heart. He’s like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tr
ee. In the end, I realized that I didn’t want to give this wind a small footi
ng in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away
& better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn’t ask me
to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t as
k her to stay.
Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she’s so dependent on tree so I
have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her,
it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person lookin
g at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitti
ng there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with g
als there’s jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there’s a smile in
her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn’t appear. I felt something amissed. I can’t
explain the feeling except it’s a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also
not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior s
colding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at
her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a n
ote & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the no
te. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
Leaf’s heart is too heavy and wind couldn’t blow her away
It’s not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leav
e tree
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to
talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the
person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I wi
ll make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less th
an 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give
up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win
her over. I can’t remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Al
though I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hop
ing that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn’t hear any reply from her
over the phone. I asked “what are you doing? How come you didn’t want to re
ply?“ She said, “I’m nodding my head“. “Ah?“ I couldn’t believe my ears
. “I’m nodding my head“ She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly ch
anged and took a taxi and rush to her place &
press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged h
er tightly. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t
ask her to stay
Are you the tree, the leaf, or the wind?
--
where is my first love?
i am eager to grab you
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