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发信人: bhfbao (嗖嗖与嗖嗖), 信区: SFworld
标 题: Contact III-24
发信站: 哈工大紫丁香 (Wed Feb 2 15:27:23 2000), 转信
发信人: isabel (伊莎贝尔~戒网中), 信区: SFworld
发信站: BBS 水木清华站 (Sat Jan 29 13:35:14 2000)
发信人: Sandoval (Companion Protector), 信区: SciFiction
标 题: Contact Part III - 24
发信站: The unknown SPACE (Tue Jan 25 01:15:20 2000) WWW-POST
CHAPTER 24
The Artist's Signature
Behold, I tell you a mystery; we shall not all
sleep, but we shall all be changed.
- I Corinthians 15:51
The universe seems ... to have been
determined and ordered in accordance with
number, by the forethought and the mind of
the creator of all things; for the pattern was
fixed, like a preliminary sketch, by the
domination of number preexistent in the
mind of the world-creating God.
- Nicomachus of Gerasa
Arithmetic I, 6 (ca. a.d. 100)
She rushed up the steps of the nursing home and, on the
newly repainted green veranda, marked off at regular
intervals by empty rocking chairs, she saw John
Staughton-stooped, immobile, his arms dead weights. In his
right hand be clutched a shopping bag in which Ellie could
see a translucent shower cap, a flowered makeup case, and
two bedroom slippers adorned with pink pom-poms.
"She's gone," he said as his eyes focused. "Don't go
in," he pleaded. "Don't look at her. She would've hated for
you to see her like this. You know how much pride she took
in her appearance. Anyway, she's not in there."
Almost reflexively, out of long practice and still
unresolved resentments, Ellie was tempted to turn and enter
anyway. Was she prepared, even now, to defy him as a matter
of principle? What was the principle, exactly? From the
havoc on his face, there was no question about the
authenticity of his remorse. He had loved her mother. Maybe,
she thought, he loved her more than I did, and a wave of
self-reproach swept through her. Her mother had been so
frail for so long that Ellie had tested, many times, how she
would respond when the moment came. She remembered how
beautiful her mother had been in the picture that Staughton
had sent her, and suddenly, despite her rehearsals for this
moment, she was wracked with sobs.
Startled by her distress, Staughton moved to comfort
her. But she put up a hand, and with a visible effort
regained her self-control. Even now, she could not bring
herself to embrace him. They were strangers, tenuously
linked by a corpse. But she had been wrong-she knew it in
the depths of her being-to have blamed Staughton for her
father's death.
"I have something for you," he said as he fumbled in
the shopping bag. Some of the contents circulated between
top and bottom, and she could see now an imitation-leather
wallet and a plastic denture case. She had to look away.
Atlast he straightened up, flourishing a weather-beaten
envelope.
"For Eleanor," it read. Recognizing her mother's
handwriting, she moved to take it. Staughton took a startled
step backward, raising the envelope in front of bis face as
if she had been about to strike him.
"Wait," he said. "Wait. I know we've never gotten
along. But do me this one favor: Don't read the letter until
tonight. Okay?"
In his grief, he seemed a decade older. "Why?" she
asked.
"Your favorite question. Just do me this one
courtesy. Is it too much to ask?"
"You're right," she said. "It's not too much to ask.
I'm sorry."
He looked her directly in the eye. "Whatever
happened to you in that Machine," he said, "maybe it changed
you."
"I hope so, John."
She called Joss and asked him if he would perform
the funeral service. "I don't have to tell you I'm not
religious. But there were times when my mother was. You're
the only person I can think of whom I'd want to do it, and
I'm pretty sure my stepfather will approve." He would be
there on the next plane, Joss assured her.
In her hotel room, after an early dinner, she
fingered the envelope, caressing every fold and scuff. It
was old. Her mother must have written it years ago, carrying
it around in some compartment of her purse, debating with
herself whether to give it to Ellie. It did not seem newly
resealed, and Ellie wondered whether Staughton had read it.
Part of her hungered to open it, and part of her hung back
with a kind of foreboding. She sat for a long time in the
musty armchair thinking, her knees drawn up limberly against
her chin.
A chime sounded, and the not quite noiseless
carriage of her telefax came to life. It was linked to the
Argus computer. Although it reminded her of the old days,
there was no real urgency. Whatever the computer had found
was not about to go away; p would not set as the Earth
turned. If there was a message hiding inside p, it would
wait for her forever.
She examined the envelope again, but the echo of the
chime intruded. If there was content inside a transcendental
number, it could only have been built into the geometry of
the universe from the beginning. This new project of hers
was in experimental theology. But so is all of science, she
thought. "STAND BY," the computer printed out on the telefax
screen.
She thought of her father. . . well, the simulacrum
of her father ... about the Caretakers with their network of
tunnels through the Galaxy. They had witnessed and perhaps
influenced the origin and development of life on millions of
worlds. They were building galaxies, closing off sectors of
the universe. They could manage at least a limited kind of
time travel. They were gods beyond the pious imaginings of
almost all religions-all Western religions, anyway. But even
they had their limitations. They had not built the tunnels
and were unable to do so. They had not inserted the message
into the transcendental number, and could not even read it.
The Tunnel builders and the p in-scribers were somebody
else. They didn't live here anymore. They had left no
forwarding address. When the Tunnel builders had departed,
she guessed, those who would eventually be the Caretakers
had become abandoned children. Like her, like her.
She thought about Eda's hypothesis that the tunnels
were wormholes, distributed at convenient intervals around
innumerable stars in this and other galaxies. They resembled
black holes, but they had different properties and different
origins. They were not exactly massless, because she had
seen them leave gravitational wakes in the orbiting debris
in the Vega system. And through them beings and ships of
many kinds traversed and bound up the Galaxy.
Wormholes. In the revealing jargon of theoretical
physics, the universe was their apple and someone had
tunneled through, riddling the interior with passageways
that criss-crossed the core. For a bacillus who lived on the
surface, it was a miracle. But a being standing outside the
apple might be less impressed. From that perspective, the
Tunnel builders were only an annoyance. But if the Tunnel
builders are worms, she thought, who are we?The Argus
computer had gone deep into p, deeper than anyone on Earth,
human or machine, had ever gone, although not nearly so deep
as the Caretakers had ventured. This was much too soon, she
thought, to be the long-undecrypted message about which
Theodore Arroway had told her on the shores of that
uncharted sea. Maybe this was just a gearing up, a preview
of coming attractions, an encouragement to further
exploration, a token so humans would not lose heart.
Whatever it was, it could not possibly be the message the
Caretakers were struggling with. Maybe there were easy
messages and hard messages, locked away in the various
transcendental cumbers, and the Argus computer had found the
easiest. With help.
At the Station, she had learned a kind of humility,
a reminder of how little the inhabitants of Earth really
knew. There might, she thought, be as many categories of
beings more advanced than humans as there are between us and
the ants, or maybe even between us and the viruses. But it
had not depressed her. Rather than a daunting resignation,
it had aroused in her a swelling sense of wonder. There was
so much more to aspire to now.
It was like the step from high school to college,
from everything coming effortlessly to the necessity of
making a sustained and disciplined effort to understand at
all. In high school, she had grasped her coursework more
quickly than almost anybody. In college, she had discovered
many people much quicker than she. There had been the same
sense of incremental difficulty and challenge when she
entered graduate school, and when she became a professional
astronomer. At every stage, she had found scientists
moreaccomplished than she, and each stage had been more
exciting than the last. Let the revelations roll, she
thought, looking at the telefax. She was ready.
"TRANSMISSION PROBLEM. S/N<10. PLEASE STAND BY."
She was linked to the Argus computer by a
communications relay satellite called Defcom Alpha. Perhaps
there had been an attitude-control problem, or a programming
foul-up. Before she could think about it further, she found
she had opened the envelope.
arroway hardware, the letterhead said, and sure
enough, the type font was that of the old Royal her father
had kept at home to do both business and personal accounts.
"June 13, 1964" was typed in the upper right-hand corner.
She had been fifteen then. Her father could not have written
it; he had been dead for years. A glance at the bottom of
the page confirmed the neat hand of her mother.
My sweet Ellie,
Now that I'm dead, I hope you can find it in your heart to
forgive me. I know I committed a sin against you, and not
just you. I couldn't bear how you'd hate me if you knew the
truth. That's why I didn't have the courage to tell you
while I was alive. I know how much you loved Ted Arroway,
and I want you to know I did, too. I still do. But he wasn't
your real father. Your real father is John Staughton. I did
something very wrong. I shouldn't have and I was weak, but
if I hadn't you wouldn't be in the world, so please be kind
when you think about me. Ted knew and he gave me forgiveness
and we said we'd never tell you. But I look out the window
right now and I see you in the backyard. You're sitting
there thinking about stars and things that I never could
understand and I'm so proud of you. You make such a point
about the truth, I thought it was right that you should know
this truth about yourself. Your beginning, I mean.
If John is still alive, then he's given you this
letter. I know he'll do it. He's a better man than yon think
he is, Ellie. I was lucky to find him again. Maybe you hate
him so much because something inside of you figured out the
truth. But really yon hate him because he isn't Theodore
Arroway. I know.
There yon are, still sitting out there. You haven't
moved since I started this letter. You're just thinking. I
hope and pray that whatever you're seeking, you'll find.
Forgive me. I was only human.
Love,
Mom
Ellie had assimilated the letter in a single gulp, and
immediately read it again. She had difficulty breathing. Her
hands were clammy. The impostor had turned out to be the
real thing. For most of her life, she had rejected her own
father, without the vaguest notion of what she was doing.
What strength of character he had shown during all those
adolescent outbursts when she taunted him for not being her
father, for having no right to tell her what to do.
The telefax chimed again, twice. It was now inviting
her to press the return key. But she did not have the will
to go to it. It would have to wait. She thought of her Fa...
of Theodore Arroway, and John Staughton, and her mother.
They had sacrificed much for her, and she had been too
self-involved even to notice. She wished Palmer were with
her.
The telefax chimed once more, and the carriage moved
tentatively, experimentally. She had programmed the computer
to be persistent, even a little innovative, in attracting
her attention if it thought it had found something in p. But
she was much too busy undoing and reconstructing the
mythology of her life. Her mother would have been sitting at
the desk in the big bedroom upstairs, glancing out the
window as she wondered how to phrase the letter, and her eye
had rested on Ellie at age fifteen, awkward, resentful,
rebellious.
Her mother had given her another gift. With this
letter, Ellie had cycled back and come upon herself all
those yearsago. She had learned so much since then. There
was so much more to learn.
Above the table on which the chattering telefax sat
was a mirror. In it she saw a woman neither young nor old,
neither mother nor daughter. They had been right to keep the
truth from her. She was not sufficiently advanced to receive
that signal, much less decrypt it. She had spent her career
attempting to make contact with the most remote and alien of
strangers, while in her own life she had made contact with
hardly anyone at all. She had been fierce in debunking the
creation myths of others, and oblivious to the lie at the
core of her own. She had studied the universe all her life,
but had overlooked its clearest message: For small creatures
such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.
The Argus computer was so persistent and inventive
in its attempts to contact Eleanor Arroway that it almost
conveyed an urgent personal need to share the discovery.
The anomaly showed up most starkly in Base 11
arithmetic, where it could be written out entirely as zeros
and ones. Compared with what had been received from Vega,
this could be at best a simple message, but its statistical
significance was high. The program reassembled the digits
into a square raster, an equal number across and down. The
first line was an uninterrupted file of zeros, left to
right. The second line showed a single numeral one, exactly
in the middle, with zeros to the borders, left and right.
After a few more lines, an unmistakable arc had formed,
composed of ones. The simple geometrical figure had been
quickly constructed, line by line, self-reflexive, rich with
promise. The last line of the figure emerged, all zeros
except for a single centered one. The subsequent line would
be zeros only, part of the frame.
Hiding in the alternating patterns of digits, deep
inside the transcendental number, was a perfect circle, its
form traced out by unities in afield of noughts.
The universe was made on purpose, the circle said.
In whatever galaxy you happen to find yourself, you take the
circumference of a circle, divide it by its diameter,
measure closelyenough, and uncover a miracle-another circle,
drawn kilometers downstream of the decimal point. There
would be richer messages farther in. It doesn't matter what
you look like, or what you're made of, or where you come
from. As long as you live in this universe, and have a
modest talent for mathematics, sooner or later you'll find
it. It's already here. It's inside everything. You don't
have to leave your planet to find it. In the fabric of space
and in the nature of matter, as in a great work of art,
there is, written small, the artist's signature. Standing
over humans, gods, and demons, subsuming Caretakers and
Tunnel builders, there is an intelligence that antedates the
universe. The circle had closed. She found what she had been
searching for.
--
... In 2345, on the 10th anniversary of the Shivan attack
on Ross 128, the Vasudan emperor Khonsu II addressed the
newly formed GTVA General Assembly. The emperor inaugurated
an ambiguous and unprecedented joint endeavor: the GTVA
Colossus...
※ 来源:.The unknown SPACE bbs.mit.edu.[FROM: 204.91.54.100]
--
Don't ever become a pessimist, Ira; a pessimist is correct
oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun--
and neither can stop the march of events.
--
☆ 来源:.哈工大紫丁香 bbs.hit.edu.cn.[FROM: baohf.bbs@smth.org]
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