Mud 版 (精华区)

          侠客行厚黑史    瞎子(blind)                              
                                                                                 
【序】                                                                           
                                                                                 
  前日整理书桌,案头落下一页发黄的稿纸。拿起来一读,竟是瞎                     
子年青时所写,在结了蛛网的书堆里,长了绿霉的披萨盒下,一忘数                     
十载。年光似鸟,世事如棋,文中诸般典故,今人知之者恐不多矣。                     
再不贴出来,十年八年以后,莺燕黄土,只怕一位知音也寻不着了。                     
                                                                                 
  况且本文所录,乃是一部以先师李宗吾之厚黑学贯穿的侠客行史,                   
若想在泥潭里混出点名堂,不可不读!我身抱绝学,不忍自私,只好                     
勤勤恳恳地重抄下来,作为上篇;又新撰下篇概括侠客行之近代史,                     
是以狗尾续狗尾也。                                                               
                                                                                 
【上篇】                                                                         
                                                                                 
  我自十四岁出道以来,就想为英雄豪杰。求之经书武笈,盲无所                     
得;求之各大门派,与秀才,朱熹,仍无所得。以为古之为英雄豪杰,                   
必有不传之密;不过吾人赋性愚鲁,寻他不出罢了。穷索冥搜,忘寝                     
废食,如是者有年。一旦偶尔想及当代几个人物,不觉恍然大悟曰:                     
得之矣,得之矣,古之为英雄豪杰者,不过面厚心黑而已。                             
                                                                                 
  当代英雄,首推糖醋排骨。他的特长,全在心子黑:他先做玄劫                     
教党委书记,又做玄劫教教主,连新手也要收保护费;娶了大老婆,                     
又娶小老婆,还卖了大老婆的 dummy;并且明目张胆的说:“我不入                     
地狱,谁入地狱?”心子之黑,真是达于极点了。有了这样本事,当                     
然称为一世之雄。                                                                 
                                                                                 
  其次要算美黛。她的特长,全在脸皮厚:她小时候和玄劫教不共                     
戴天,大了却让玄劫教众帮她杀李四;她本来贵为武当掌门,却又去                     
拜风清扬,拜丐帮;而且平生善 whine,天上做大神的,更是多有领                     
教:遇到不能解决的事情,如慕容博,张召重,对人发一通小姐脾气,                   
立即转败为功。这也是一个有本事的英雄。她和糖醋排骨,可称双绝,                   
所以你向糖醋排骨打听美黛(ask cyz about meidai),他便说:“美                     
黛么,武功不错,人就是爱抱怨,可把糖醋排骨当英雄看的,也就她                     
一个了。”                                                                       
                                                                                 
  厚黑学共分三步功夫,第一步是“厚如城墙,黑如煤炭”。练到                     
这一步的侠客行中也不少,举例说来:星宿的左秋白,被玄劫教超度                     
一次后,便苦苦哀求,要求入教;本来接不起副教主一掌,要被拒之                     
教外,不过运起“厚”字决来,由分而寸,而尺而丈,居然混到个玄                     
劫长老。又有少林尊者澄金,为进言天神除掉慕容博,血洗扬州,妇                     
孺老幼,一概不论,比不欺弱小的玄劫教来,有过之而无不及;近来                     
又闻他杀人之意本在提高网络速度,其心之黑,当追煤炭也。                           
                                                                                 
  不过到了这个境界,只能算初步功夫。因为城墙虽厚,也抵不住                     
天雷一劈;煤炭虽黑,但颜色讨厌,众人都不愿近它。这就要第二步                     
功夫,叫做“厚而硬,黑而亮”。深于厚学的人,任你如何攻打,他                     
一口咬定,决不嘴软;美黛就是这类人,连天神拿她都没有办法。深                     
于黑学的人,如退光漆招牌,越是黑,买主越多;糖醋排骨就是这类                     
人,他玄劫教要杀人,连天神都忙着改 code ,挂招牌,设总坛。                       
                                                                                 
  厚黑学第三步是“厚而无形,黑而无色”。至厚至黑,却又让人                     
觉得不厚不黑,这就难得紧了,只好由我后辈来将其发扬光大。总之,                   
由【东方故事Ⅱ】以至于【侠客行】,大魔大侠,神僧义丐,不可胜                     
数,苟其事之有成,何一不出于此!                                                 
                                                                                 
【上篇后记】                                                                     
                                                                                 
  瞎子对厚黑先驱,向来是十分尊敬的。故当日写好上篇后,首先                     
付糖、美一阅。糖不愧为一代宗师,阅毕一笑置之,只说了句:“某                     
某之心黑我十倍。”那时心中不以为然。怎知这数十年来,看某某之                     
伎俩看得多了,始信糖兄所言不虚!欲知某某是何人物,且听【下篇】                   
分解。                                                                           
                                                                                 
  与美黛校对,则寻出文中不少疵漏来。原来她不灭玄劫,是因神                     
功未成,非不为也,是不能也;待到武功出神入化时,玄劫已不复为                     
患,所以无可对证;后来竟嫁了玄劫教主霞天,更无灭玄劫之理!至                     
于几次叛师,她也莫得好处:华山武功,丐帮经验,统统放弃了。瞎                     
子的治学精神一向严谨,因此决定先修订再发表,不想美黛新婚后却                     
暂别江湖,此事就一直搁了下来。                                                   
                                                                                 
  所以美黛的厚学,确是打了折扣。后来某某寻她散毒时,她还有                     
“我只帮朋友,不做交易”之语,厚黑学竟大大退步了,令吾人好生                     
失望。无怪乎楚文君能够后来居上,成为侠客行第一高手。有人将楚                     
比作赵敏,大有道理。赵敏之厚黑,倚天屠龙记中是彰彰可考的,而                     
楚于侠客行亦然。可见厚黑必不负我!高手用好了厚黑,武功不日定                     
能赶上少林秃驴,在文选中大出风头,引来小记者青睐;就算是沦落                     
街头的新手,用了厚黑,讨饭也会比别人多讨些,捡破烂也会多捡些。                   
                                                                                 
【下篇】                                                                         
                                                                                 
  李白有诗云:「今人不见古时月,今月曾经照古人。古人今人若                     
流水,共看明月皆如此!」这里的“月”,解作“厚黑”是再妥贴不                     
可了!                                                                           
                                                                                 
  当今有位公公,自号「天下第一恶人」,率一帮星宿弟子,东厂                     
太监,横行江湖,造孽万端,直搞得药铺生意兴,谣言满天飞。此人                     
散起毒来,发呆的断线的输入文字中的,亦不放过。不但心狠手辣,                     
而且目光远大,致力纵容提拔小太监小魔王,俨然是公公的好总管,                     
星宿的大师兄。只是葵花宝典在好兄弟手里读得久了,便立刻翻脸,                     
扬言杀尽公公,吓得好兄弟的妻小直做恶梦。玄劫当年还有“干部们                     
会确保教友安全”之说,比起他来竟逊了一筹,是以糖醋排骨叹道:                     
“某某之心黑我十倍。”此人龙云子是也。                                           
                                                                                 
  当今又有位神丐,自号「车轮战专家」,两次自杀,两次还魂,                     
又两次叛师,身具神功却不安分守己,以卑劣的车轮战法四处挑战别                     
派掌门。神仙看不惯,砍了华山的武功,此人便将一块华山留言板弄                     
得硝烟弥漫,帖子更是越写越长,一帮神仙也说他不过。当年美黛多                     
寄牢骚于闲聊中,而他在口诛以外,另加了笔伐,较之美黛又胜了一                     
筹。此人诸葛月是也。                                                             
                                                                                 
  世人只道诸葛月厚,却不知龙云子亦厚,而且他“厚而无形”,                     
已到了厚黑学的第三步功夫,比诸葛月的“厚而硬”更甚。龙云子扬                     
言杀尽天下公公,别人只道是黑,却不知他表面上对玩家运「黑」字                     
决,骨子里却对神仙潜运「厚」字决,为的是让神仙改善辟邪剑。目                     
的与诸葛月一样,手段则高明许多。唯有象楚文君这样的厚黑名家,                     
才能在客店留言板上一语道破。                                                     
                                                                                 
  世人只道龙云子黑,却不知诸葛月亦黑,而且他“黑而无色”,                     
也到了厚黑学的第三步功夫,比龙云子的“黑而亮”更甚。诸葛月建                     
赏善罚恶盟,“杀人者人恒杀之”,大搞红色恐怖,杀一次不够,竟                     
是随见随杀,而糖醋排骨仅“一日不过三”罢了。赏善罚恶盟一出,                     
PKer望风而逃,有跑得慢的,受不了屡屡被杀之痛,只好畏罪自                     
杀。玄劫教主霞天一夜手刃数十,其黑也是众口皆碑的,连他都觉得                     
黑不下心来连杀一人数次。                                                         
                                                                                 
  龙云子诸葛月两位厚黑宗师,各有千秋,所以泥潭晤对,你无奈                     
我何,我无奈你何,你用伏魔刀杀我一次,我用三笑散杀你一次,虽                     
然都胜之不武,毕竟还是扯了个直。                                                 
                                                                                 
  厚黑学,如利刃然,以厚黑图大众之公利则为善,以厚黑图一己                     
之私利则为恶。善与恶,何关于刃!诸葛月之黑,为侠客行之侠义正                     
气也;龙云子之黑,为侠客行之生态平衡也;诸葛月之厚,为华山之                     
复兴也;龙云子之厚,为太监谋福利也。厚黑若斯,侠客行安得不兴?                   
                                                                                 
  上天生人,给我们一张脸,而厚即在其中,给我们一粒心,而黑                     
即在其中。从表面看去,广不数寸,大不盈掬,好象了无奇异,但若                     
精密的考察,就知道它的厚是无限的,它的黑是无比的。莫说吾辈□                     
夫□子,就连□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□                     
□□                                                                             
(此处作者删去二百一十字)!                                                     
                                                                                 
【全篇完】                                                                       
                                                                                 
--                                                                               
       我可以抱你吗 爱人,让我在你肩膀哭泣                                       
如果今天我们就要分离,让我痛快的哭出声音                                         
       我可以抱你吗 宝贝,让我最后一次这样叫你                                   
你也不得已 我会笑笑的离去                                                        
                                                                                 
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